The ultimate guide to reading instructions...

In standard 5 (primary school), I had to sit for the end-of-semester Malay essay test. There were questions printed on both sides of the paper and, after looking through both of them, I picked the one on the first page and began writing. When I finished, I went through the essay a few times to make sure that my grammar was decent enough and made minor corrections.

After the tests, I got back my answer sheet and - true enough - I scored pretty well for that essay.

The only problem was, I was supposed to do the essays on BOTH sides of the paper. Which meant I ended up with a 'D'. I protested, arguing with the teacher "But you never said we had to write BOTH essays!"

But she answered, "Oh yes I DID. It says so in the instructions on the top of the first page!"

"Oh..."

My mom went to see the teacher the next day, asking if I could be excused for my stupidity and inability to read instructions. It was a big deal because it meant that I would be dropped from the "A" class and slotted into the slightly less mentally capable "B" class. In other words, there were 40 people in school who were smarter than I was. Of course, it meant that I met equally stupid friends such as Aloy. An ironic twist of fate.

Anyway, the reason why I'm being all nostalgic is because - about 17 years later - I STILL don't read instructions.

The latest example came after I received an e-mail detailing my upcoming assignment to Bangkok (which I've decided to tell my parents a couple of days before taking off). They asked if I was flying business class, which hotel I'm staying at and whether or not I would be touring the country.

I answered 'probably not', 'dunno - they all never tell me' and 'sure got no time one...' respectively.


I then handed my mom the itenerary, which (very clearly) stated that I would be flying in business class, that I'd be staying at the Royal Orchid Sheraton Hotel and that I'll be going on a cruise on the Chao Phraya river on my second day.

"Oh..."

Ok, it seemed funny when I was thinking about it in my head.