If God drove a 4-door sedan...

...He'd drive this:

A Honda Civic Type-R FD2

I had the pleasure of trying out the new Honda Civic Type-R in Sepang Circuit, courtesy of Honda Malaysia.

Now, I've not driven that many cars before, but I highly doubt you'll ever find another FF (Front-engine, Front-wheel-drive) car that'll outperform this on a race track. Though it looks a lot like a regular Civic with some lame spoilers, skirts and air dams, it's a completely different beast.

The rear end will be a familiar sight on highways. There's a rear diffuser below the bumper.

Welcome to heaven. Check out the manual gearbox - when's the last time you saw one of these???
The 2.0-litre Honda K20A iVTEC engine churns out 225BHP at over 8000RPM. PHWOAAARRRR!!!!

The engine is super smooth and supremely powerful, the suspension is perfectly set up for track work so it corners with God-like amounts of grip and its 6-speed manual gearbox is soooo darn precise, you have to wonder why Honda doesn't include it with regular Civics (for that matter, I don't see why any car nut would ever one to go back to an auto box).


And thanks to its advanced LSD (that's a limited-slip differential, not the hallucinogenic drug), it's almost impossible to induce understeer in hard cornering - even if you've got your foor buried on the throttle.

Speaking of which, the pedals in this car are perfectly positioned for nifty heel-and-toe downshifts, aided also by a well dampened clutch and superb throttle response.

In a nutshell, this car provides so much feedback and is a delight to the senses - you can feel every corner and push harder and harder towards the car's limits, unlike any other FF you've probably driven.

I tried Mercedes' entire 2005 AMG range (apart from the SL55, which I didn't get a stab at) at Sepang Circuit a few years ago and even though all of those cars sported much more torque and horsepower, none can come anywhere close to providing this much excitement and intimacy.

The only problem is, I only had four laps in the Type-R (after three in the regular 2.0 Civic) and was just starting to get comfortable with doing four-wheel drifts before running out of time.

Heading out of the pits

Whatever it is, I'm completely smitten. For less than RM200k, this is definitely the best car in the world. Buy one now! NOW! If I could sell a kidney to finance one of these, I would. After the session, I was giggling like a little girl for a good 10 minutes :)

(I hear the waiting list goes all the way to 2009, though - and I might not last that long sans a kidney. Also note that Malaysia is the only country outside of Japan to have this Japan-spec Civic Type-R officially available).

What's on top of your monitor?

One of the biggest problems with LCD monitors is that you can't put your toys and action figures on top of them - simply because they're too narrow.

Which is why I'm glad my company is too cheapskate to buy new LCD monitors for the office. This is what the top of my monitor currently looks like:

Old monitors: good display cabinets

Starting from the left, I've got a solar-powered "Maneki Neko", a Tomy Flip Flap solar-powered plant, two Kiwi tiki dolls behind it, a dancing hamster that sings Kung Fu Fighting, a Tomy Bit Char-G remote controlled Ferrari F40 in front of it, an AV-98 Ingram Unit 2 from Patlabor, the remote control for the Bit Char-G behind it and Asamiya Athena and Mai Shiranui from the King of Fighters series.


The latest addition to my collection is the AV-98 Ingram. It's part of the Revoltech series of action figures made by Kaiyodo. It's a fully posable figure with ball joints all over the place, which is good.


bang!

If you've not seen the Patlabor TV series before, I highly recommend it. It was one of the pioneering Anime in the late 80s and early 90s, and had a huge pool of talent working on it - including Mamoru Oshii of Ghost in the Shell fame.

Unlike most other robot Anime of the time, the show was written largely for an adult audience and had rather sophisticated humour and themes. Plus, its cute to see big ass robots doing mundane stuff like directing traffic and helping old ladies cross the street.

Anyway, what's on YOUR desk? :)

I fire some guns...!

The guys at the office were invited to Hari Tentera Darat Ke-74 (That's the 74th Army day to you non Malays speaking people), where members of the media were invited to shoot some guns and to basically muck around with their gear.

Wah... so long!

The thing is, I was expecting to be blown away by firing guns (figuratively, not literally). However, it didn't feel any more menacing than firing a paint-ball gun. I like firing paintball guns, btw - but I was expecting it to be more shiok. Never meet your childhood heroes, I guess....


There was a competition among members of the media - where each team of five faces off with another team to hit down 10 metal plates per team. The first team to finish goes to the next round. Of course, this was very cool :)

Edwin, Ron, Kelly, Ravind and me - preparing for our exit from the shooting competition.


We were beaten by some extreme posers from Berita Harian or something - damn annoying, the bastards wore bandanas, did stretch exercises and had battle cries and shit. All for a simple session in a shooting range. What's even more pathetic was that we lost to them by less than a second. The bastards...

Yes, this post is a little overdue. But rather than write more about it, I've posted it up on YouTube as a video... Enjoy :)

A tiger having lunch

On my latest trip to Singapore Zoo last week, I managed to shoot the white tigers again ('shoot' as in 'click', not 'bang!'). This time, I caught them during feeding time, which is probably the best time since they're not just sitting around like housecats.

*yawn!*

At 2:45pm, some guy with a bucket came to chuck some fresh meat into the tigers' enclosure. This is a step-by-step guide on how to eat lunch (if you're a tiger):

Step 1: Wash your hands before eating. Just in case you recently stepped on shit or something.

Step 2: Patiently wait for the meat to come flying towards you and...

*CHOMP!*

*munch!* *munch!*

Erm... yes, that how a tiger eats.

I'll post some non-feline shots from the zoo soon. Yes.

Jun Kit: the ultimate Mat Rocker

Karaoke is cool!

I managed to catch one of Jun Kit's classic renditions of Fantasia Bulan Madu (A fantastic song performed by Malay rock band Search and written by M. Nasir) on video.

And thanks to the wonders of technology (i.e. YouTube), now you can see this performance in the comfort of your office cubicle.

It should be noted that Jun Kit sings this song better than 90% of the Malay population. In fact, we believe that Jun Kit is more Malay than Hanif (pictured in the background). We also believe that Hanif is gay, but that's a different story altogether.

All that's missing is the long hair and tight jeans...

Enjoy :)

Note: Make sure your speakers aren't at maximum volume! You'll go DEAF!!!

Home RUN!!!

A day after Deepavali, we decided to celebrate the Indian festival of lights by batting the shit out of some balls at the new Baseball thingy in 1 Utama.

It's a bit hard to find - you need to go to the elevators near Parkson (1 Utama new wing) and get to the upper roof, where you'll see something like a miniature driving range.

Elaine: "Mmmm... Big stick... I like!"

A few packages are available - we chose the "Home run" package for RM45, which gives you an unlimited number of balls to hit for 30 minutes. And with that, we headed for the batting cages.

This is the panel that controls the ball-launcher thingy. Select between 40MPH to 70MPH balls, press "baseball", wait for red light to come on and watch in horror as a yellow ball comes flying towards you.


Being the one who studied in America and is most in-tune with popular all-American sports, Alex shows us how it's done.

Well, erm... sort of

At first, we found it incredibly difficult to hit the balls but after a few tries, it gets easier. It's also real important that you set the height of the ball (via the control panel), otherwise you'd end up missing a whole lot of balls. Like this, actually:

Aloy steps up to the plate

Ack! Too low...


The other thing we learnt that day is that baseball can be a very painful sport. The massive shock/vibrations sent up through the bat and into your arms is enough to make it hurt. Kinda like tennis elbow, only whilst not playing tennis.

But it's not like we sucked (*really!*), after some time, all of us started to get the hang of it:

Elaine steps up to the plate

The evil yellow ball launches towards her...

CRACK!

Strangely enough, I found myself more comfortable batting left-handed. Probably because I'm more used to backhand motions (i.e. slapping people with the back of my right hand).

Kinda like a wife beater, actually ("Hic, where's my beer??? I take out my belt then you know!!!")

Hmmm... I need a haircut

Lousy hair style or not, it didn't stop me from getting the job done:

CRACK!

Needless to say, it was a blast. I think I'll be spending lots of lunch hours here in the future...

TWO THUMBS UP!!! ^_^

Pool: two thumbs up!

It's official - pool is the coolest sport in the world. After all, it's the only game that allows you to mimic a sniper hunting down some hapless balls on a velvet table. It transforms even the most awkward, clumsy, fat bastard into a real man.

Me shooting some pool. Very cool, no?

You see? Just by holding a cue up to your chin, you too can instantly transform into a suave something or other.

This is Aloy. He thinks he is cool. Yes, he does.

Of course, it's even better if you're dressed like a waiter - it makes you look even more professional. And a lot cooler too. Observe:

This is Hanif. Yes, he's cool too. Really.

And it's even more more better if you try some trick shots. Doesn't matter if it works or not - as long as you look cool, you will be cool. For example:

This is an attempted screw ball. It is cool.

But it is not enough that it's cool. We must show appreciation for this. And because of this, I give pool two thumbs up (my highest award, given to fine examples of being cool).

Aloy bending over at table. This is cool. Hence, we give it two thumbs up.


Two thumbs up for Hanif too, because he is very cool.

Aloy racking some balls. This is cool. So we give two thumbs up.

The best part is, the coolness you obtain from playing pool carries on to the rest of your life. You become coolness itself.

Falling asleep later at the mamak. But it's also cool, so we give it two thumbs up also.


On the right, we have the photographer who naively thought that she managed to escape the whole night without having her picture taken.


TWO THUMBS UP!!!

Ok, that's enough cheese for now. Back to work!!!

Sliding tofu sellers...

In an rather refreshing turn of events, I ended up at a race track last night, watching some people whose cars seemed to be facing the wrong direction whenever they entered a corner:

"Look! It's that guy from Initial D!!!"

The starting grid. It's a grid. Cars start on it. Yes, they do.

Yup, it was a drifting event. Organised by Angle D5, it's a Saturday night event held at the PLUS speedway near the USJ toll plaza. We discovered it by accident, though - it was near Warren's house and we can hear the noise at the track from there. So, we decided to have a look.

That's me

Some old Toyota hatchback with a helluva good drifter behind the wheel...

What struck me about the event was the variety in the types of cars used - there were both brand new cars as well as crummy old 1970s Japanese sedans (and most of the better drifters seem to prefer the latter). The audience was pretty diverse too, with Malays, Chinese and Indians freely mixing together, both youngsters and even entire families with baby prams and stuff...

A Skyline R33 - presumably, the owner is affluent enough to risk pranging it.

"Oi! Why got traffic jam???"

An old-ish Skyline R32. Looks completely shagged

We spent about 2 hours looking at these cars go round and round the track, laying about a few tonnes of rubber into it. It seemed fairly well-organised too - with bilingual deejays, track marshalls, ambulances on standby and pretty girls with ultra-tight tops prancing around the main entrance.

Of course, after you pay the RM5 entrance fee, you'll walk in only to find that there aren't anymore big-breasted women inside (apart from some visitors, of course). Darn.

A Nissan Skyline R32 and a Nissan 180SX - crummy old cars, but excellent for drifting!

A participant from Singapore. Can't wait to see his tow-truck bill...

And there you have it. Apparently, they've got another event on Merdeka eve, which - coincidentally - is exactly a year since I've started blogging. I think I'll be there... ^_^

My new Ferrari

Been feeling a rather depressed lately so I bought a little toy to cheer myself up:

It's a Tomica Super Bit Charg-G!!!

For the benefit of the not-so-geeky, the Bit Charg-G is Tomy's line of ultra small remote control cars. It's fully functional, with forward/reverse and left/right controls.

This one is an officially licensed Ferrari product, based on a Ferrari F40 (arguably the most kick-ass prancing horse ever).

tiny...

It's REALLY small, which makes it rather cool. After charging it on the remote for about 45 seconds, it'll run for about 2 minutes before running out of juice. And it's pretty fast - a dining table isn't big enough to play it on.

It's only RM49.90 in Toys 'R' Us, so... buy buy buy BUY!!!

Italian cars, bungee cord and tow trucks...

For a while, my Fiat Multipla sort of forgotten that it’s an Italian car, and remained problem free* since the start of 2006 (the longest problem-free stretch ever).

* Note: If you have an Italian car, your expectations on what constitutes a ‘problem’ will eventually sink. Rattles and squeaks? No problem. Faulty electrical wiring on headlamps? It’s fine. Melting plastic fittings on dashboard? No worries. Shagged shock absorbers? I’ll live with it. Leaking sunroof? Well, a little water never hurt anyone. As long as I can start the engine and proceed from point-A to some other place within 500 metres of point-B, there’s no problem.

A couple of nights ago, the Multipla finally came to its senses and became it’s old self again. Which meant I had a problem.

After a long day at work, which was the end of a bloody long week, I stumbled out of the office at 1AM and into my car, turned the key and heard a loud “CRUNCH!!!”.

Engines normally go “Vroom…!” (Or “BRAMmmm! Bum bum bum bum bum…!” if it’s an Alfa Romeo).

“CRUNCH!!!” followed by “Snap! Crackle! Pop!” should only happen during breakfast.

The battery sure-as-hell wasn’t dead since I’ve just changed it and I don’t think electronics make bone-snapping sounds so something must’ve broke in the engine. It was late, I was completely knackered, I was bloody hungry and everyone I knew was probably sleeping by then so I walked home (I can now confirm that the office is only a five-minute walk from my house).

And cooked some Shin Ramyun, which I promptly ate. Yum.

The next morning, the scale of my problem started to become more apparent with each sip of Brand’s Essence of Chicken (some Chinese placebo, if you’re wondering).

My car was parked in a basement car park. It needs to be towed to a workshop.

Tow trucks don’t fit in basement car parks – they’re too tall.

I called AAM (the Automobile Association of Malaysia) and they sent over a mechanic to see if he could fix my car on the spot. He couldn’t.



The problem was that the little gear that connects the camshaft to the timing belt broke! It’s a shame that I didn’t take a picture of it. You see, normally the timing belt would break first (since it’s made of rubber). The reason this happened is that, unlike other car manufacturers who’d have a solid metal gear, the one on the Multipla's diesel engine looks like a sport rim, hollowed out with thin spokes. Ah…

At least it looked nicer than a solid wheel. Gotta love those passionate Italians…

The dude from AAM told me that my car couldn’t be fixed on the spot (which I already knew), that a tow truck wouldn’t be able to come down to the car park (which I also already knew) and that the AAM only had one pickup truck with a tow hook that could pull me out (which surprised me, quite frankly).

He said that I’d have to wait until the truck was available, which may take a few hours.

“A FEW HOURS?”

Oh dear… I had originally woken up at 7am so that I could get the Multipla to the FIAT service centre by 1pm – before it closes on Saturday. It was now about 10:00am, which wasn’t good.

Thankfully, I happened to know someone else with a pickup truck and a long cord for pulling other cars:

"Did someone call for help?"

Yup, Paul Si came to the rescue in his Ford Everest and brought along one of those elastic cords used to pull other 4x4s out of a sticky situation.

“It’s a Saturday morning… So I thought ‘What the hell, I’ll give it a try…’”, he said.

First, we tied the two vehicles together at their tow hooks.

My car

Paul's armoured truck

After pulling the Multipla out of its parking spot, we had to connect the cord to the front so I could steer it. However, Paul’s Everest only has a tow hook at the front, so he had to reverse all the way out of the basement.

Negotiating a tight corner

Going up the ramp…


Going through another tight corner.


Light! I see light!


Yay! We were finally out. Paul looks rather pleased with himself...


"Hmmm... Let's do this again."


Now that the car was at surface level, I called AAM to tell them that I had already pulled the car out of the basement car park and didn't need their pickup truck. They said "Ok!" and that they'll send a towtruck in about an HOUR. It was about 11:45am, now.

...

Right.

So I had lunch with Paul and after wishing him many thanks, he went off to continue the rest of his Saturday. Meanwhile, I waited. And waited. At about 1:30pm, there still wasn't any sign of the AAM tow truck. "Fine... I guess I could leave the car at the service centre over the weekend," I thought.

I gave the AAM office a call to see how my tow truck was doing and, for some reason, they seemed completely surprised. Apparently, someone said that my problem "...had already been settled!"

WHAT???

So why the hell did they say they were sending a tow truck? Gee... thanks for wasting my time. The lady at the other end of the phone told me to contact the tow truck, and she gave me his number but I said, "NO! Why the hell should I call YOUR tow truck? Can't you call him yourself???"

She grumbled and spurted a few noises which vaguely resembled a "yes".

"How long?" I asked.

"About an hour" she said.

...


Great.

I waited till about 2pm and received a phone call from one of the AAM's staff. He said:

"I apologise for the delay, sir. We're still trying to get a pick-up truck to pull your car out of the basement carpark. You see, a tow truck won't fit and..."

"BUT I'VE ALREADY PULLED MY CAR OUT OF THE BASEMENT!!!" I said in a very loud but calm manner.

"Eh? You did?" he asked.

"YES! I got a friend to help me, and I've already told your staff... TWICE!"

"Erm... ok, I'll send the tow truck, then"

"How long will it take?"

"Erm... about an hour"

So I had some tea. And some Coca-Cola. And more tea. And then I looked at my watch and it was already pointing at 3:20pm. No tow truck in sight, I called the AAM again.

"Hi, I've called about three or four times earlier - since 9:30 this morning - and my car still hasn't been towed," I said.

"Oh, that case. The car in a basement car park?" replied the operator.

"No, it's already at ground level," I said again.

"Is it?" he asked.

"Yes. For heaven's sake can you send me a bloody tow truck."

"Sure... but it'll be about an hour."

"Thank you."

Eventually,the tow truck appeared at about 3:45pm (which was the first time the AAM had ever come earlier than they'd said they would).

Now, I guess it's their way of making up for their blunders all day, but it was kinda cool that AAM sent the biggest bloody tow truck they had in their arsenal. It wasn't so much a tow truck than a lorry which you could put your car on top of. Cool.


Finally, at about 4:30pm, we arrived at the Fiat service centre in Jalan Hulu Klang.

Note: Cheap camera-phone shot

I'll have to go to the centre to sort it all out tomorrow morning, since the staff had already gone home that day.

Malaysia BOLEH!!!