How the mighty have fallen...

Honda's ASIMO - former million-dollar stair-climbing robot...





...now reduced to secondary PDA cradle support:

Where's that little robot?



"Me want to climb stairs instead!"

Cheryl calls room service...

The wedding dinner just ended. It's past midnight, and we're hanging out in Thomas and Amelia's bridal suite, having drinks and basically having a laugh.

And then, we ran out of ice. And Colin took it upon himself to call room service for more ice. However, his alter ego took over...

Oh, and I'll post up photos from the wedding (on Flickr) once I've gotten some work out of the way. This was the first time I've been involved in both pre-wedding and actual day photography.


Me in action

It was bags of fun... :)

I killed a fruit fly today...

I'm back at the office today. And it turns out that the little insects that have been terrorising me here were fruit flies (see post "We're being followed"). And I killed one of them!!!

I rock!


Extreme closeup

While not exactly fast, these little buggers are really small and my eye-sight is shit. So yes, I'm quite happy to have made it dead.

Now if only some of the other pests in the office could be dispatched of as effortlessly...

We're being followed...

I had a nagging suspicion all day that I was being followed by insects. Everywhere I went, i could feel something crawling around my scalp, skipping across my neck. Inside my shirt and moving underneath my socks. Sometimes I even caught a glimpse of something small flying in front of my eyes.

Bzzzzzzz...

It even followed me in my car when I went to the camera equipment store in SS2. Kit was telling me that it's just my imagination - my hair getting into my eyes or something like that.

But when I got back to the office, it turns out that everyone's been bugged by little insects all day too.

So yes, I'm not crazy, but a small colony of insects may be building a nest in my head. Which means I've got cooties. Cool.

The joy of Fax...

As I was sending a fax to a hotel in Bali the other day, it suddenly dawned upon me how satisfying (on a physical, psychological and emotional level) it is to send a fax.

It all begins with typing out a document with ultra sexy formatting and using words like "Attention:", "Re:" and "To whomever it may concern". The document must fit on a single A4 page yet contain all of the necessary information, which means that some revisions are required to make it all much more concise and wonderfully elegant.

This is, of course, incredibly gratifying as I stare at the screen, alternating between "print preview" mode and editing mode whilst making little adjustments here and there to tart it up.

And once I'm done typing it, I print it on my inkjet printer, with the print-quality settings set at "Ultra High" and on high quality 80g A4 paper.

This Ultra High quality mode causes the print head caress the A4 paper ever so gently and with more passes per row of text as if laying more coats of much thinner paint to produce a fantastic finish. Or in this case, crisper text.

With printout in hand, I march towards the beckoning fax machine, sitting idly in the corner with a dim red glow emanating from its LED power indicator. I slot my A4 paper into its feeding tray (face down, of course), dial in the fax number and watch as the fax machine gently whispers cryptic modem strings over the telephone line to the fax machine on the other side.

And suddenly, the fax machine springs to life, sucking my A4 printout into its gigantic (yet wafer-thin) orifice while it hums. It's a low pitch hum. While it's almost inaudible from the outside of the house, it strongly resonates throughout the halls and corridors within, as it transmits bit and bytes across the copper wires - sending my lovingly crafted document to an eagerly awaiting receptionist on the other end.

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

And after the climax, the humble fax machine pipes down, ejecting my A4 printout from its nether regions. It lets out a faint beep and tells me that everything's ok through its LCD panel (to be precise, it says "Send OK").

I take my A4 printout, having served its purpose, crumple and toss it into the waste paper basket. While I've satiated my hunger for now, it'll be about 30 minutes before I long to send another fax.

hummmmmmmmmmm...

----------------------------

The problem with holidays is that you suddenly find yourself with a lot of free time and not much to do.

Silence, it can be stunning.

I was driving home just a couple of hours ago (around midnight) when it occurred to me that my car was being uncharacteristically silent. You see, it's normally a hell of a noisy beast when on the move - the slightest of surface undulations would normally send the car flying off at a tangent, resulting in all manner of squeaks, creaks and very worrying, metallic sounding "Clunk!" sounds. Oh, and they seemed to have forgotten to attach the suspension when it was on the assembly line.

So yes, it's put together like a typical Italian car. Which meant that it should've been really noisy considering that most of the roads leading to my house are dotted with small craters attempting to pass off as potholes.

But no. There was absolute silence. It was like a magic carpet ride.

The reason, of course, was that the potholes were no longer there. And the reason for that, of course, is that the roads have been paved. ALL of them.

And the reason that ALL of the roads have been paved is because the general elections are just around the corner and the federal government needs to show that it's actually running the country properly.

And to show that it is indeed running the country properly, they've decided to pave all the roads with glistening, fresh, black tarmac. Mmmmmm...

Never mind that the crime rate is soaring, that inflation is slowly turning my 50 ringgit notes into small change, and that for some reason, it has become socially acceptable for you to thrust a sword into the air during a political party general assembly while screaming some sort of battle cry - as long as our roads are paved, we're happy.

Now this is actually a good thing. I recently spent over 600 ringgit repairing my suspension (turns out there was one after all) after several years of driving into inverted speed bumps.

Want better roads? Vote for this guy!

But here's the thing.

The roads are only paved about once every five years, which coincides with the general elections (held every five years or so). Which is a problem because the roads normally deteriorate into the rut-infested variety after two years, which leaves us with about three years of shitty roads.

This means, of course, that unless we have general elections every two years we aren't going to get freshly paved roads every two years.

Which means, of course, that we must somehow get the government to hold general elections every two years.

And to do that, we must... must... erm... well you know. Yeah.










Sorry, but that's about as far as I thought. I do like the freshly paved roads, though.

World's greatest comb-over

Going bald? No problem - all you need is a hairdryer, a hairbrush, some hair wax and shitloads of patience (i.e. about 40 minutes of your time) to transform yourself from spud to stud...



Brilliant stuff, this.

I touched it!!!

Look what I got my grubby hands on today:

Hmm... shiny phone you've got there... hang on!


It's an iPhone!!! A real one! Not some origami thingy!


Yes, my sex appeal has gone up by 3.142%.

I am now God's gift to a woman again... (yes, that's singular, not plural)

Nando's: well-hung

The Nando's giant ebony rooster mascot was doing its rounds in 1-Utama. Childish/Clever captions ensue.. hur! hur! ^_^

"Look, it's a big black COCKeral"


OR

"Look, it's a young Asian girl with a big black COCKerel coming from behind!"

I wonder if anyone at Nando's thinks the same about this?

Wheee...!!! I feel so childish! :)

You've got the Touch

This is some video we made at work (yes, we have to do videos now). The device you see here is the HTC Touch - an iPhone-like PDA that runs on Windows Mobile.

Click To Play

Just posting it here to test this YouTube-like service called Blip.TV. It's quite cool and - unlike YouTube - it automatically generates video podcasts with RSS, so people can subscribe to your videos.

Haven't had much experience with it but so far, it's good.

Saving money...

I live approximately 200m from my office (literally on the same street), which is walking distance except that my house is up a hill (about 50ft elevation or so), which means that - while walking to my office is easy - coming home will be tiring as hell since I have to climb back up the hill (Which I've tried before, so I know).


However, I have devised an ingenious plan to get to the office and back without having to drive, walk or cycle:


1. All I have to do is walk out of my house and hail a taxi at the traffic lights (while it's still red).
2. Once the taxi is moving, I tell him I want to go to Penang (which is like a five-hour drive north).
3. The driver will tell me I'm crazy.
4. I'll then tell the driver to take me back to my house.
5. The driver will then tell me to eat shit and die.
6. He'll drop me off at the end of the street - where my office is.

^_^

I figure I can probably get away with this a couple of times before they start to catch on.

The problem, though, is in coming back home (which is uphill). From my office, there's way too many exits and stops on the way back to my house. Sigh...

The ultimate diet Coke shootout.

I’m addicted to Coke (the soft drink, not the white powder that you ingest through your nostrils).

I’ve been drinking Coke ever since I learnt how to operate a bottle opener (about the age of 4), and have been regularly drinking the shit at least twice a day for the past 24 years.

When I was in university, I drank Coke as a substitute for coffee – to wake me up in the mornings as I drag myself to the lecture theatres.

During the season of Lent, I abstain from Coke as a form of fasting. So yes, I do like Coke very very much.

The problem, however, is that I’m getting rather rotund and have grown a second chin.

Coke contains loads of calories, which means that the more I drink it, the more of a fat ass I’ll become. This is especially since I’m approaching 30 and my metabolic rate isn’t what it used to be. And so, I’ve embarked on a task to find the ideal alternative low-calorie Coke.

Coke and its sugar-free friends...

Coke contains about 42 Calories (or 42kcal) per 100ml, which is a lot. Let’s see how the alternatives measure up…

Coke Light
Calories: 0.3 kcal per 100ml
Price: between RM1.40 to RM1.70 per 325ml can
Availability: Almost anywhere you can also find regular coke.

Coke Light: It's not shit.

Well, this is the most obvious choice for Coke lovers – it’s by the same guys who make Coke and is easily available. Some places price it at RM0.10 more per can than regular Coke, which is evil.

Unfortunately, it does taste rather different – kinda like a cross between original Coke and Dr Pepper (yuck) but with a very strong artificially sweetened taste. You’ll get used to it eventually though it’ll never replace the real thing.


Diet Coke Caffeine Free
Calories: 0.5 kcal per 100ml
Price: RM4.90 per 330ml can
Availability: Cold Storage supermarkets

Diet Coke Caffeine Free: It's shit

It comes in a golden can and costs an arm and a leg (since it’s imported from the UK). But is it any better than Coke Light? Sadly, no.

Not only does it still have the artificial taste, the absence of caffeine means that it doesn’t give you that extra buzz in the morning – to get you and your bowels going. Don’t waste your money on this rubbish.


Coke Zero
Calories: 0.5 kcal per 100ml
Price: RM4.90 per 330ml can
Availability: Cold Storage supermarkets

Coke Zero: the almost Coke

Now here’s something different! Kinda like Coke Light but with the promise of the original Coke taste, Coke Zero is the real deal and almost tastes as good as original Coke.

There’s only a hint of that artificial sweetener taste, though it’s mostly masked by the other flavours that create that distinctive Coke taste.

Unfortunately, it’s also RM4.90 a can because it’s imported all the way from the UK. But if you’re filthy rich and need a Coke without the calories, this is the drink for you.


Conclusion
Even though Coke Zero tastes fantastic, its high price is bound to turn away even the most dedicated of Coke drinkers. Which means that most of us will still have to settle for the second best product – Coke Light. Sigh.

Of course, there is another evil option: Pepsi Max or Pepsi Light!

Sugar-free Pepsi: As evil as sin, but tastes rather good...

Yes, Pepsi is evil but for some reason, its sugar-free cola offerings are closer in taste to the company’s original full-flavoured Pepsi. I’ve only drunk Pepsi Light or Pepsi Max when I didn’t have any other choice, though I have to admit that I’m quite impressed by the taste.

So I guess it’s down to two choices if you’re on a budget: settle for sub-par Coke Light or drink Pepsi Light/Max and shoot yourself later.