The occasional mumble

Get out of our way.

2011-11-06T16:05:00.004+08:00

I actually meant to write about this on the 5th of November, for poetic reasons, but this will have to do.

A lot has been said about the teaching of Math and Science in English, and our Education Ministry's constant flip-flopping of this policy. The crux of the matter is that a lot of us urban parents would like our children to be educated in English, as most of us are of the generation that endured primary and secondary education in Malay, with mixed results.

I guess most of us urban students turned out alright, but that's also because most of our teachers spoke good English and could explain stuff to us in the many instances where Malay was insufficient. Most of these teachers are now retired and/or dead.

Among my peers, who were mostly the better-performing students in school, I can think of maybe one or two who opted to do STPM - everyone else, including myself, opted for foreign tertiary programs such as A-Levels, ADP and SAM, followed by foreign university programs, done either overseas, or through local affiliate colleges. And this was 15 years ago.

Personally, my best academic years were when I learned in English, which also happens to be my first language. And for the record, my command of Malay sucks. I barely passed my Malay exams in school, and I can barely hold a conversation in Malay before descending into gibberish.

Long story short, the Malay language was more of an obstacle for me to overcome than a medium that opened doors in the quest for knowledge - and i do not wish my children to be burdened by such a pointless exercise borne of testicle-carrying politics and little else.

And seeing that the Education Ministry is clueless about how to solve this problem, and is incapable of solving this problem, I would like to propose an incredibly simple solution that requires minimal effort on their part (which is what they're accustomed to, i think).

The solution: Let private schools freely teach curriculum from other countries.

If you look at The Laws of Malaysia, under Act 550 (also known as the Education Act 1996), there are sections 73 to 78, which fall under Part VII of the Act: Private Educational Institutions.

Here's a link to the Act online: http://www.agc.gov.my/Akta/Vol.%2011/Act%20550.pdf

Specifically, Section 74 states that "A private education institution providing primary education or secondary education or both shall comply with the requirements of the National Curriculum and shall prepare pupils for prescribed examinations."

This section should be scrapped. There are other sections pertaining to the teaching of Malay and Malaysian Studies in private schools where the medium of instruction isn't English, and I have no problem with that.

However, by scrapping Section 74, there would actually be a chance for a much larger group of Malaysian students to learn under better-structured primary and secondary education systems from countries like England, Australia, the USA and, God forbid... Singapore.

Think about it. This would give many urbanites a very good reason NOT to migrate to these other countries - apart from better job opportunities, most of us are thinking of migration (or have already done so) because we're worried about our kids' education.

With regards to the whole national unity thing, I'm pretty sure you'll see a pretty even spread of students of different races in these schools, and all of them will likely intact willingly with each other because they're more like to speak the same language and would be from middle- to high-income families.

This is of course based on the assumption that these students want to learn in English and want a better education. Or at the very least, their parents want them to and are willing to fork out thousands of Ringgit per semester to do so.

I can also guarantee that there will not be enough places for everybody in these schools, and parents will be booking places 6 years in advance to make sure their kids get in.

This high demand is a foregone conclusion. There are a large number of people who, given the choice, would rather have their kids learn in English rather than Malay.

It is ridiculous that special exemptions are given to Chinese and Indian schools to teach in their mother tongue, yet for the significant number of Malaysians who use English as our main form of communication, we have no such right!

We're a product of Malaysia's history - our forefathers came here, thrived under British rule and we are now the most educated and most likely to push the country forward economically, culturally and socially. It is our right to be educated in the language that we were raised in.

And if the Malaysian Education Ministry can't give us what we want, then at the very least, GET OUT OF OUR WAY.

Safari auto-suggest FAIL...

2009-11-11T16:04:00.003+08:00

I started to type in "Can you..." into the search bar on the Safari browser on PC, and got the following suggested searches:

Click to see bigger image...

Halloween 2009

2009-11-09T15:25:00.002+08:00

Over the years, it's been a tradition at Gamebrains to dress up for Halloween. This year, there was even a themed lunch to match the celebrations.

Unfortunately, only 4 people wore costumes this year... This would be the first year I'm dressing up as something, and I decided to dress up as:

...my boss.

Unfortunately, Brett (the boss) wasn't around that day, which robbed us of a chance to take a side-by-side photo. Maybe next year, i suppose.

And then, there's Jeff:

...dressed as a butcher from Cheras.

And there's Javier, who dressed up as:

...a gay elf (Link)

Jeff asking for a raise.

And then, there was Eugene, who's photo I haven't got. He basically wore a fake dagger poking through his head.

We then walked to this restaurant called Departure Lounge for our themed lunch.

The only drawback with my costume, is that i had to remove the mask to eat.

Elaine and James joined in as well. Elaine's supposed to be a Jester and James is a tiger.

Eeeeeee... so cute!

We were offered severed fingers/penises for appetizers

Jeff eating the said severed finger/penis

Our swampy beverage...

So, yes... that's my Halloween.

Where old Formula 1 teams go to die...

2009-10-23T11:32:00.004+08:00

Poor Minardi. God bless its battered soul...

Solution for the Broadcom WiFi adapter + Linksys WRT54G issue

2009-09-12T16:11:00.004+08:00

This is a bit of a departure from my usual posts, but hopefully it will be of help to somebody out there, frantically Googling for a solution.

I recently bought a Dell Inspiron Mini 10v netbook PC, brought it home and found that, while it could see my router (It's a Linksys WRT54G v2.2 router with DDWRT firmware installed) via WiFi, it could not acquire an IP address.

The Windows XP taskbar tray icon then reports that my WiFi has limited or no connectivity.

All of the other computers (even a Wii and an iPod touch) in my house can connect to the router via WiFi with no problems, and all of my connection settings were correct.

So I went online and found that loads of people had the same problem but no solution. Nevertheless, I followed most of the prescribed 'solutions' to the problem, which didn't work:

1. I updated the driver for my Inspiron mini's WiFi card (a Dell Wireless 1397 WLAN card manufactured by Broadcom).

2. I used the default Windows XP Zero Config WiFi manager (instead of Dell's bundled WiFi manager) to connect to the network.

3. I tried using a static IP address.

4. I updated the firmware for my router - resetting and rebooting a few million times.

As it turns out, the problem is due to my choice of WiFi security / encryption - I was using WEP, which apparently the Dell's Broadcom WiFi card has a problem with. After switching to WPA Personal security settings on the router, everything worked fine!

Now, the frustrating thing is that this problem seems to be quite widespread (judging by the number of posts online), and the blame is almost always laid on the Linksys WRT54G router, though I'm now more inclined that the problem lies with Broadcom.

The Linksys WRT54G: Convenient scapegoat

The other annoying thing, of course, are a whole bunch of 'experts' in various forums who keep on prescribing the same 'solutions' over and over again without even reading the original posters' posts properly.

Example:

Expert: Did you update the drivers on your laptop? I find that usually fixes the problem
Victim: Yes I did, you moron!!! Can't you read???
Expert: Oh, so maybe you didn't enable Wireless Networking on your router...
Victim: I DID, you retard! I just said that other computers on my network are able to connect via WiFi!!!
Expert: Are you sure you're connected to the Internet? You should check your PPPoE settings
Victim: Oh my GOD!!! What the hell, can't you read? I can see the bloody network but I can't get a LOCAL IP address. It's got nothing to do with the Internet!!!!
Expert: Maybe you should get a new router / WiFI card

And sadly, that last solution seems to be the course of action taken by most people; who may end up with a brand new router and the same ol problem again.

And it's thanks to the large number of retarded experts that it took me a whole week to finally find the solution: (http://en.community.dell.com/wikis/networking_internet_wireless/recommended-wireless-router-settings.aspx)

So there you have it - if you have a Dell notebook PC with a Broadcom WiFi card and a Linksys WRT54G router, and you can see your WiFi network but cannot get an IP address, try using the above recommended router settings before downloading and installing firmware and drivers - it may save you lots of time.

Headwear

2009-09-01T15:53:00.002+08:00

Caryn puts on a weird-looking helmet

I need RM60k a year to prevent James from becoming stupid...

2009-08-24T14:51:00.011+08:00

I've sort of known that government schools have been shite for quite some time already - but with our education ministry's constant flip-flopping of policies and the downward spiral of academic standards, it's becoming a very real problem for me.

Or rather, for James...

While I've always assumed that private schools are an alternative, it seems that even that isn't an option for some parents these days - because they're still tied to Malaysia's retarded education system (Today's SPM English paper is sooooo easy, I could probably score full marks on it when I was 12 years old!).

After reading this article on the Malaysian Insider, it has suddenly dawned upon me that, unless I can set aside RM60k a year to send James to International School, he might end up stupid. Holy shit.

James: needs RM60k a year to remain clever

And yes, it starts out at "only" RM10k a year for pre-school, but with 2-year waiting lists and ever-increasing tuition fees, you might as well budget for about RM60k a year to fight inflation. There's no way I'll afford that as long as I'm busy play... i mean MAKING video games for a living.

So what are my options, then?

1) - Send him to a private school
Hopefully, it won't cost as much, but it'll still eat into my wallet. And if Elaine and I have another kid, that's an even bigger financial burden. The worst part, though, is that there's no guarantee that the quality of teaching is any better.

I studied A-Levels in Taylor's College, and most of my lecturers there were AWFUL. And my parents paid good money for that. Plus, I was also a lazy dumbshit so my parents had to spend even MORE money to send me to private tuition classes. In hindsight, the irony is amazing.

The other problem is that James would end up socialising with stuck-up, spoilt brats who get dropped off by drivers in Toyota Alphards (which are only driven/owned by assholes). I don't want James mixing with sons of assholes who are probably assholes too.

Toyota Alphard: driven exclusively by double-parking, queue-jumping, tail-gating assholes

That, and he'll probably be crap at sports since its a known fact that rich kids are rubbish at sports, so he won't have any competition to play against. He needs to be beaten soundly in sports so he'll know the feeling of defeat and knows that he has to work harder so he can then have a rematch and totally pwn the other asshole's son.

2) - Bite the bullet and send him to government school
This actually makes more sense because it doesn't cost me any money, and James will probably end up more humble and/or well-rounded since he'll meet kids from all walks of life; that's one thing I remember from government schools.

However, his teachers are guaranteed to be shit, and he'll probably end up giving the English teacher private tuition. That, and he'll probably end up playing football, since most basketball/tennis/volleyball courts in government schools have now become makeshift hockey courts/ car parks.

Oh, and most government schools have totally shit facilities:
A typical multi-purpose hall in a government school

He'll also probably be the only Chinese kid in his class; which technically shouldn't be a problem - except that he'll probably have difficulty fitting in due to cultural differences.

Any other Chinese kid would probably only speak Mandarin (which James won't understand, since nobody in his family does), the Malay kids will be speaking proper Malay (as opposed to the sterilized Dewan Bahasa that we're all taught in school) - which he won't understand either - and all the Indian kids will be speaking in Tamil, which for some funny reason I think James might actually pick up.

This scenario is likely, simply because all the English-speaking kids are studying in private schools. I don't think James will forgive me...

3) - Move to Australia and take advantage of free education there
This is actually a very, very good idea - and James will no doubt love the fact that (for some reason) Asian girls who grow up in Australia end up becoming hot. Of course, he could end up with a white girl and fulfill Elaine's dream of having half-cast babies (in this case, grandkids) who will end up looking very beautiful and being casted in TV ads or as VJs on Channel V.

Also, there's no way the Australian education system is worse than ours. Also, James will probably be very active in sports, which is good.

The only downsides are that Elaine and I have to completely uproot our lives and attempt to make a living in Australia; which might be a bit hard for me since nobody will understand a word I say and then automatically assume that I've just got off the boat from China.

However, this remains one of the most appealing choices; especially if things turn out well.

4) - Move to Singapore
I like Singapore Zoo. I think James will like Singapore Zoo too. It's also the safest city in the world, which is a big plus. It's also very close to Malaysia, so visiting friends/family would be easy.

No idea how good their education system is, but i hear it's basically a more efficient version of ours.

In other words, James will come out of school wanting to be a lawyer/engineer/doctor/accountant and will be totally rubbish at sports. The difference from doing it in Malaysia is that ALL of his classmates will be exactly the same: highly efficient-but-soulless individuals with fantastic credentials on paper.

Disclaimer: Of course, I'm basing all this on the stereotypes we Malaysians have of Singaporeans. I've met Singaporeans who are totally unlike this (Hi, Colin!)

I have no idea how much it will cost to have James study in Singapore, so I'll still have to think about this. Singapore Zoo.... Mmmm...

5) - Keep complaining until someone does something about it.
Given the way the country's been run for the past 50 years, it's easy to forget that free, high-quality education for our children should be a basic right.

The root of the problem is our country's diversity; we all speak different languages, come from different backgrounds and have different priorities in life. And in spite of this, the education ministry continues to attempt to find a one-size-fits-all solution, which is impossible.

Browse around the web and you'll find a lot of people (me included) who believe that re-introducing English-medium schools will solve the problem; simply because the decline in our education system's standards seem to coincide with the introduction of Malay as the primary medium of instruction. But that's basically because we are English-speaking, so of course we'd want to see the return of English.

But as long as we have history lessons that only briefly touch world history, physical education classes where the teachers don't know anything about sports, art classes that only teach you how to paint and science classes that completely ignore the revolution of the Internet, our education system will remain completely irrelevant.

And as long as we treat teaching as a profession for people who aren't qualified to do anything else, any syllabus that the government comes up with will never be effective.

The day the government realises and fixes these problems, I'd certainly send James to a government school.

And on that day, me and thousands of others wouldn't have to write blogs or post comments about this matter anymore. On that day, I would consider Malaysia a developed nation.
"Umm... Do you think they heard us, arr...?"

A movie i would pay money to see...

2009-07-24T18:40:00.001+08:00

James in motion

2009-06-19T22:28:00.002+08:00

...or passing motion, in some of these videos.

James laughing and trying to shit

James with mom / grandma / outside grandma

James staring at a baby mobile

James lying prone: part 1

James lying prone: part 2

James in the "Super shitting position": part 1

Tracking daddy with his eyes

James in the "Super shitting position": part 2

Fiat 500 lands in Malaysia!

2009-06-16T22:39:00.004+08:00

Spotted this Fiat 500 at the Fiat Service Centre in Keramat. Apparently, this is a unit for the mechanics to toy around with.

"Say my name... SAY MY NAME!!!"

I'm not sure if it's actually on sale yet, but the guys at the workshop say it'll be priced between RM120k to 140k, which is ridiculous when you consider that you can buy one for just 8000 Pounds in the UK. Even after the over-inflated taxes, it should still cost only about RM90k at most. Me thinks the local distributor is trying to milk as much out of the 500 as they can...

Needless to say, i love this car. Will test drive one once i get the chance :)

Microsoft being funny...

2009-06-10T13:47:00.005+08:00

I'm currently downloading the release candidate for Windows 7 (that would be the next version of Windows, in case you've been living under a rock. Like me).

It would've been a routine thing if it weren't for one tiny thing (click on the following photo to see the full-sized version):

Microsoft is using JAVA to distribute Windows 7!!! (Note the little Java icon on the smaller window).

This is quite ironic, if you consider how Microsoft routinely bashes Java in favour of their own C# language and .NET runtime environments. I've been to a couple of Microsoft TechEd seminars in Malaysia, and they'll always have one session that shows just how superior C# and .Net are to Java.

Funny how the world works... :)

1 month later...

2009-06-06T17:28:00.000+08:00

I guess it's a testament to how busy I've been – that little James was born more than a month ago and only now do I find time to actually write about the experience. Although the irony of it is that I'm probably busier now than I was a month ago. But more on that later.

Me, Elaine and James

So... Yay!!! James was born on 3rd May 12:45pm, after about 12 hours of labor. 12 very long hours. Ask Elaine about it. She has a much better perspective of the experience.

Elaine in between contractions. Zzzzzz...

With the help of a vacuum suction device thingy, James ended his nine-month tenancy in Elaine's womb with a brief cry.

He then stopped, and scanned the sterile delivery room with his little eyes. He had a look on his face which basically said, “What the hell is THIS?”

Fresh out of the oven

He was blue, had a cone-shaped head and when the nurses put him on Elaine's chest, the two of us smiled at each other but thought, “Erm... he looks weird.”

All his fingers and toes were in place, he was breathing fine and he generally looked like a healthy baby. Except for the fact that he was blue.

“He's kinda blue, isn't he...?Hello? Erm, sorry... Excuse me, why is he blue?” I asked the doctor and the nurses, who I believe were trained to ignore any questions asked by the father (i.e. me). And rightly so, because I was probably getting in their way.

“It's normal,” said Elaine.

“Ok.”

Elaine holding James for the first time

My first photo with James

Now, the best part was, I had been anticipating this moment for as long as I can remember – the moment when I'd lay my eyes on my child for the first time. The mere visualisation of it in my head was enough to tug on my heart strings. I like kids. I've always wanted a kid of my own.

But as I stood there, staring at this little blue guy gnawing away at Elaine's mammaries, I didn't have the rush of emotion I thought I'd have. In hindsight, it's probably because of the many months of anticipation – I guess I was expecting fireworks and a big brass band playing in the background.

After a day, we brought James home, where he and Elaine were put under the care of our hired confinement lady, Kew (not sure what her full name is). For the whole month she would bathe James, change him, put him to bed at night and watch over him AND continuously prepare food for Elaine and made sure she got enough rest.

Elaine after successfully pumping out 4 ounces of milk in a single sitting for the first time!

This was a bit of a weird time for me, the dad. Because every time I tried to help out, I often found myself getting in the way. There wasn't much I could do other than run some errands (buying supplies), helping to carry stuff around and generally providing emotional support.

I'm waaaaatching you

I couldn't carry James because he was sleeping or needs to be fed. I couldn't talk to Elaine much because she needed sleep. And to make matters worse, I was at the tail end of a project at work so I had to divide what little time I had.

I guess I felt kind of left out. I did insist on learning how to change diapers (which I am now a pro at doing – even if he starts shitting midway), how to feed him from a bottle, how to bathe him (though I've only done that once). But for the most part, whenever I tried to do something, somebody else will almost certainly come along and 'relieve' me of my duties.

So when friends asked me “How's fatherhood...”, I didn't really have an answer.

A James hotdog

But now that the confinement period is over (it normally goes on for 28 days or a month), I've been finally thrown into the deep end. The sleepless nights have finally begun, and I've changed about 20 diapers in five days and have woken up several times to warm up bottles of milk.

James going in for a routine pitstop...

And in spite of the sleep deprivation, I'm feeling happier than before, simply because I'm now a part of little James' life rather than a bystander.

And for the first time in month, I finally had a chance to have a quiet moment alone with him. I was trying get little James to sleep one day – he had been quite testy and had been crying – and I had been carrying him for about 30 minutes already, gently patting his bottom and talking to him (babies like it when you talk to them).

As he was drifting in and out of sleep, I finally had the emotional moment I was waiting for. This little guy in my arms is my son - and I love him to bits :)

* Queue 'Awwwws' *

Me and James in synchronous sleep

On another note, fatherhood does strange things to a man (or me, specifically):

1. I'm suddenly more aware of my mortality – I think more about consequences before I do something potentially rash. I'd drive below the speed limit all the time, and I now tend to let idiot drivers on the road have their way rather than confronting them. I want to be there for James as he grows up, and that means not putting myself in harms way.
2. I suddenly have and urge to learn how to fish, so I can bring James fishing when I grow up.
3. When I meet other new parents, I find myself more interested in how they raise their kids.
4. I'm suddenly able to function with less than 8 hours of sleep a day.
5. I have a newfound respect for women who exclusively breastfeed their babies (i.e. no infant formula). It's a very though thing to do. Elaine's a tough girl :)
6. I find myself peeking into baby shops, eyeing rather sporty looking strollers, cool toys and other cool child-raising apparatus. I even saw a baby monitor the other day with a bloody camera on the transmitter and an LCD screen on the receiver! If you're a gear head, having a child is an excellent reason to buy tons of cool stuff.

Now for some videos:

James at 6 days old

James being a 3-week-old baby

Me bathing James for the first time!

Good things come to those who wait...

2009-04-13T22:44:00.004+08:00

This year, for the season of Lent, I had decided to be a very good Catholic and fasted.

Of course, the Catholic definition of fasting is somewhat conveniently abstract - unlike the Muslim month of Ramadan, where you can be punished for eating or drinking during daylight, most Catholics fast during Lent by means of 'abstaining' from something of worldly pleasure. Stuff like smoking, drinking (alcoholic beverage), playing videogames, sex, etc...

I decided to give up the one vice i rely on the most:

Coke Light

No joke, Coke Light is my cigarette / coffee / cocaine. Prior to Lent, i was drinking Coke Light at a rate of about three cans a day - that's roughly a litre of the black stuff each day. And if you think THAT'S bad, i used to do the same with full-flavoured, sugar-rich Coke. I did it while I was in university and while i was working in the Star. And it made me fat.

So i switched over to Coke Light and - would you believe it - i prefer it to normal Coke. It's even supplanted Vanilla Coke as my favourite variety of Coke. This is a very big deal, especially if you consider my tastes a couple of years ago (Click here for my diet-Coke shootout)

Anyway, back to Lent...

Yes, fasting.

I gave up Coke Light for the entire season of Lent this year. Except for weekends when I'd take a swig from a can that I'd asked Elaine to buy... and except for that one time at work where I'd bought myself an 8 ringgit bottle of Dr Pepper Zero (which is actually pretty good too) as a substitute. And that one time in McDonald's.

But yes, i fasted. And i swear i started feeling some sort of withdrawal symptoms - neither coffee nor sweet drinks could quench my thirst, and whenever anybody nearby drank an ice-cold can of Coke Light on a hot day, it shook the very core of my soul. It was difficult. it didn't really do anything spiritually for me (other than leaving me in a semi-vegetative state for most of the day).

Although it has reminded me of something - that good things come to those who wait.

So Good Friday came and went, followed by Easter Sunday. And then, i rewarded myself with the Coke Zero that I had asked Caryn to buy when she was in Singapore.

Coke Zero?

Yes... if there's one thing that i probably like even more than Coke Light, it's Coke Zero... which is widely available in Singapore, of all things. And after the local Coca Cola boys started putting the 'Zero' branding on Coke Light, I was dreaming of the day that Coke Light would officially come to Malaysia - so I wouldn't have to plonk down 5 ringgit for a can (that's almost THREE times the price of regular Coke Light).

Anyway, back to the end of Lent.

Yes, I've since consumed half the 1.5L bottle of Coke Zero, about a third a 1.5L bottle of Coke and about four cans of Coke Light in the past 48 hours. And after all that fasting and restraint, the Coke actually does taste a lot better.

So i guess the moral of the story is... erm....

We should be thankful for Christ's ascension into heaven (which is what Easter is about, in case you didn't know. It's got nothing to do with bunnies and shit) because He makes Coke... erm... taste better?

There! I've made a connection between Jesus and the Coca Cola company.

Happy Easter.

Never meet your childhood heroes...

2009-03-13T08:59:00.004+08:00

If you know me well enough and started a conversation about cars, and asked me what's my favourite car off all time, i'd say it's the Honda NSX:

An original 1990-spec NSX (picture from Wikipedia)

This has literally been my dream car ever since 1990 (when i was 11 years old). I first saw it in an issue of Car and Driver and fell in love with it, and i was overjoyed to see one in real life in the first KL international motorshow a year or two later.

I love this car because of the motivations behind it, its history and the technology that went behind it. Honda had just won several constructors' championships in Formula 1 and, i guess, they wanted to show the world that they could do a kickass sports car too. I think one of the original goals was to beat Ferrari at its own game (which it succeeded in doing - the NSX was superior in every way to the Ferrari 348 which was released at about the same time. Rumour has it that it was the NSX that spurred Ferrari to make a decent car for a change, coming up with the awesome F355 in the process).

During the design process, the car was tuned using feedback from the great Ayrton Senna (the best F1 driver EVERRR) - who was a huge Honda supporter. You can see a YouTube video of him testing the first NSX Type R around Suzuka Circuit here:

The technology behind the NSX was really impressive too - it had a lightweight, normally aspirated 3.0-litre V6 with variable-valve timing (rare for a production car in those days) and could generate 270BHP, do 0-60MPH in 5.7 seconds and had a top speed of 168MPH (I quote all these figures by memory, so pardon me if they're slightly off). Some say this is still the best sounding V6 ever made.

The car's advanced, all-aluminum chassis and suspension was (and still is) a thing of wonder - it allowed the car to achieve a low kerb weight of about 3000 pounds (or about 1,340kg), which was very light for a sports car of its profile. It's also one of the most rigid monocoque chassis designs at the time. The original 1990 model didn't come with power steering either.

I remember how car magazines of the era waxed lyrical about the NSX's handling and performance. Even though turbocharged and bigger V8 / V12-engined cars could outrun it in a drag race, few could take corners as well as an NSX. Few cars were as involving. Even when as the car finally went out of production around 2005 ( bowing out with the awesome NSX-R), motoring journalists were still impressed with its handling against newer cars such as the Ferrari F360 and the latest incarnations of the Porsche 911.

Plus, i love the way it looks, of course. It's a pretty understated car, which means that it has aged pretty well.

God, I love this car...

Which is why it was really frustrating when i tried to sit in one the other day AND COULDN'T FIT INSIDE!!!

There's a 1993/94 model currently on sale for just RM148k in a showroom in SS2, Petaling Jaya (near the roundabout) and I just HAD to take a closer look. I giggled like a little girl as I climbed in, leaned back, and had my head wedged against the roof.

Fine, I'll just recline the seat, then. I did. And my head then hit the rear glass screen. The seats were already pretty low, and didn't offer any height adjustment either. Dammit!

This was all a shock to me because I had sat in an NSX in the Birmingham Motorshow, UK in the year 2000 and it fit in fine - but then, I remembered that it was the targa-top version of the NSX. And I hate Targa tops because they compromise the chassis' rigidity and generally come with detuned engines. AAARGH...!!!

I guess that's one more dream car to strike off my list...

However, speaking to the guy in the showroom, I managed to gather some interesting facts about the NSX in Malaysia (though I'm not sure how accurate they are).

There are only about 20 to 30 NSXs in the country and only TWO of them have manual gearboxes, which means that all of the others (including the one in this showroom) were Hondamatic models with the detuned version of the 3.0-liter V6 (producing only about 250BHP or something).

So there you have it - never meet your childhood heroes.

My new toy...

2009-01-24T14:13:00.003+08:00

If there's one reason why the iPod touch is cool, it's because it let's me blog while lying down.

Being a regular mobile phone web browser user, I must say that Safari on the iPod touch / iPhone is the best handheld browsing experience at the moment. The way it displays pages, zooming in and out seamlessly, puts everything else in the market to shame - and it's been in the market for almost TWO years already.

And from the looks of it, it's also a pretty viable document editor - the on-screen keyboard is incredibly easy to use, thanks to its clever auto word correction algorithm. Haven't tried it out with google Docs yet but so far do good - at least it's good enough for me to write this blog entry :)

Just got this iPod a few days ago, actually. It's supposed to replace Elaine's aging Palm Zire and so I can watch movies, play games and surf the web while I'm doing a number two. I'm pretty sure I'll find something to hate about it soon enough but so far, so good...

OH... I've got one: I hate how the ipod touch doesn't seem to have a file system, so I can't save files from the web other than photos. And how you can't receive files from phones via Bluetooth. And you can't upload stuff either - like photos.

...

Gee, that didn't take very long...

(UPDATE: I tried the iPod touch with Google dogs - it doesn't work... T_T )

Complicated injuries...

2009-01-09T21:42:00.007+08:00

I played basketball last night for the first time in... ages, and managed to get myself a little souvenir within the first 5 minutes of play:
"Oww..."

Looks rather nasty but it doesn't really hurt that much. In fact, it doesn't really bother me at all - until you ask me how i got it.

I fell on a net.

...

And yes, this is precisely when people start asking, "How the hell did you manage that?"

And that is exactly the trouble i've been getting with injuries, lately - i seem to be getting injured in such incredibly complicated and unusual ways, that I often end up sounding like I'm making things up. Which is annoying, of course. Don't believe me? Try this:

There! You SEE? It sounds like I made it up!!! The problem is that I can't just say "I fell on a net" and leave it at that because it sounds stupid, and I can't just say "I got it while playing basketball" because people will then ask if I fell down, I'd say no and I'd then have to tell them about the net, which would lead me back to square one.

AAAAAARGH~!!!

My previous injury was also basketball-related: I sprained my ankle because someone fell on me...

...

"How the hell do you sprain an ankle that way? Don't you have to step on an uneven surface or jump and land wrongly? Or trip while running?"

"No," I'd respond. "My teammate ran into a screen, bounced off it and landed on my leg right below the knee - laterally. With his whole body weight."

You see the trend here?

And years ago, I managed to fall into a huge drain because my mum or dad (can't remember) parked too close to the drain and as i got out of the car, my mum told me not to fall into the drain, thus diverting my attention from the ground at the precise moment where paying attention to where i was stepping would've been quite important.

You see?

Why can't i just slip and fall like other normal people? Sigh...

The year that was. The year ahead

2009-01-04T23:04:00.009+08:00

2008. Where do we begin?

Looking at the statistics on the right column, it appears that I've only posted 14 blog entries in 2008, which is a record low (and about a third the number from the previous year). While the casual observer may see this as a sign of this blogs demise, i have a a couple of good excuses:

i) i DIDN'T have a convenient Internet connection at work for most of 2008 (due to security concerns, our office desktops were isolated from the Internet).

AND

ii) i actually got a proper job - meaning one that actually requires your full attention from the moment you step in at 9am right till you walk out at about 7pm. Or 8pm if there's a deadline. Or later...

So yes, this blog is still very much alive and kicking-ish. And to make up for all the lost time, here's a summary of the most significant things I've done in 2008 - in approximate chronological order:

1. I got a new job.

Gee, did I mention this yet? On a more serious note, this was probably the biggest fear I'd ever overcome in my whole entire life. Not only because I was leaving a very nice, comfortable job, I was also setting myself up for possibly the biggest failure in my life.

You see, I'm deeply passionate about videogames - all aspects of it. From playing them to making them. As a kid, I used to scrutinize my Sega Megadrive games and tried to make sense of why the games were designed the way they were - from an artistic and technical point of view. I even went to university and studied software engineering for the sole purpose of making games when i came out.

The problem, however, was that this was a dream job for me. What if I didn't like it? What if it turns out I'm a rubbish programmer? I was really dreading the prospects of living my dreams and actually hating it.

"This office is dark..."

Well, it's been about a year since I first joined Gamebrains and so far so good. I've done one Nintendo DS title (though it's still in the process of being translated into several European languages and published) and played a rather big role for a first-timer - I did most of the user-interaction and gameplay logic in the actual game. Although whenever i look back at the code, I'm quite horrified at some of my early architectural decisions (it was after all my first game - and thank God I'm a fast learner!)

Since then, I've dipped my toes in Wii development and have since moved over to PC/Mac casual games - because it makes a lot more economic sense than console titles these days. I would love to do iPhone/iPod touch games because of the possibilities that platform provides and I've been dropping hints to my boss every now and then. Hopefully, he'll let me give it a shot.

The working culture here is also completely different to my previous job too. From the moment I step into the office, I'm running at 100% until I go home. Although it sounds stressful, it's actually quite addictive, because programming is like playing a giant game of Sudoku - after you've finished one puzzle, you just have to do another one.

And if it seems like I'm hiding stuff, it's because we have non-disclosure agreements. Yep.

2. Tipped the scales at an all-time high of 98kg

Not exactly sure how it happened but I managed to get really fat at the beginning of the year - to the extent that my shirts weren't fitting and I could wear my size 38 trousers without a belt. The following photo was actually taken quite recently - after I've put on weight again (due to me eating the stuff that Elaine can't eat during her pregnancy).

At my peak, I was worse than this....

"Goo goo gaa gaa dee dah Han Soooolo..."

3. Voted at the general elections for the first time.

Yay! I helped make a difference this year and managed to deny the ruling Barisan National party a two-thirds majority in parliment for the first time in 50 years.

Usually, I wouldn't have bothered so much. Until I started seeing ad campaigns like this in the local newspapers by Barisan.

The best advice from BN ever. There was really only one choice, but it wasn't BN...

The level of arrogance shown by the ruling party was incredible - they even listed a whole bunch of things that they've done for the country, as if to say "You should be grateful to us" rather than "Here's what we can do to improve the country"

They also clearly had more money than the opposition, and had ads like this EVERYWHERE, each costing tens of thousands of ringgit. And so, it was obvious that a power shift had to happen. It didn't matter if the opposition parties were inept, the fact is that it had come to a point where the ruling party were behaving like rulers rather than public servants.

I was also spurred by a movie, of all things: V for Vendetta. In particular, the one quote from Hugo Weaving:

"People shouldn't be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people."

And so, I voted for change. Hopefully, in four years time, there will be more like me - first-time voters who decided that enough was enough, and that our country needs to change. That's because I love this country and I cannot stand idly and watch it continue to rot.

Holy crap, I'm patriotic! Who would've thought...?

4. Ran a half marathon with Elaine.

This was a rather funny experience because - for some reason - Elaine and I thought that practicing on a threadmill for 20 minutes would prepare us for a 21km run. It didn't.

"My gawd, my knees hurt..."

And yep, we'd like to do this again. It seems like every year, we must put ourselves through some sort of physical test as a couple. We climbed Mount Kinabalu in 2007, ran the KL international marathon (half-marathon group) in 2008, and in 2009, Elaine shall experience childbirth...

...and she'll be squeezing my hand (possibly crushing it into itty bitty little pieces) while she's at it.

5. Drove a bunch of fast cars...

Did a bit of freelance motoring reviews throughout the year, though it seems to have slowed down recently - I simply don't have the time. Didn't drive anything particularly good this year apart from the Civic Type-R (which I drove up to Ulu Yam, but didn't blog about it - there might be some photos floating around in my Flickr photostream).

Bone-shattering though it may be (it's got a similar suspension set up to a pair of roller skates), I absolutely love the Type-R and it is still the car I'd buy if I had about RM200k to spare. In any case, it's much better than the Jaguar XF I'm kicking here:

"Take THAT, you stupid British car..."

6. Married Elaine.

Yippee! As I write this, we've been married for about 8 months now and things have been great. While it's a good thing being able to get along with someone you're dating - that we've been living under the same roof and still look forward to horsing around, talking, laughing and having $#% every day since is great.

Us and our frens...

Oklah, not every day. Of course, it also helps that I love Elaine to bits. Feel like squeezing her now... :)

7. We moved out into an apartment.

We've been living together in this apartment ever since we got married. It was previously inhabited by my brother but he moved out just as we were looking for a place to stay.

Me moving in a birthday present from the wife :)

Although we're finally settling in, the funny thing is that we'll have to move back into either of our parents' houses soon because we'll need loads of help once the baby comes along.

8. I learned how to cook steak properly.
Pan fry for 3 minutes, drain juices, flip to the other side, fry for another 3 minutes... and you're DONE...!!!

9. I got Elaine pregnant.

Grow, my spawn. GROW!!!

(photoshop courtesy of soon-to-be-aunty Joy)

10. Flossed my teeth for the first time.

I never knew it, but flossing your teeth can be one of the most satisfying things you can do to yourself - apart from something that's frowned upon by most religions...

11. Didn't go on our honeymoon (due to the aforementioned pregnancy)
We were hoping to go to either Japan or Europe for our honeymoon during winter (so we could catch some snow). Looks like that'll have to wait a bit...

12. Finally bought a new Mac
Yes, I finally took the plunge! In spite of being a self-proclaimed cynical proponent of the Mac, I've been banging around in my ancient Power Mac G4 since 2001 (which was my 2nd Mac - the first one was destroyed after an unfortunate incident with some bitch).

It's the new, late-2008 MacBook! My first new Mac in 7 years!!!

The new Macbook is brilliant - it's got this new, fantastic multi-touch trackpad that's almost easier than using a mouse. It's also got amazing colours from its LED-backlit screen, though the viewing angles are a bit poor. It's also pretty damn fast - been doing some HD video editing on it, RAW photo editing and some programming on it and it's been, well... fast.

Oh, and it's also super light and portable. Only thing I hate is the lack of a FireWire port, which more-or-less makes my DV camcorder obsolete...

End word

So that covers just about all of the important bits. Except for my brother and Michelle giving birth to Ethan, which would of course make me an uncle. And me shifting to a new office (with the rest of the company, of course).

Ooh... ooh, how about 2009, then? Predictions? Resolutions?

Well, let's just see what happens, shall we?

The good, bad and ugly of wedding photography

2008-12-29T10:45:00.009+08:00

*Phew!* It's been a long weekend, covering Geoffrey and Joyce's wedding as an official wedding videographer (Elaine did the videography for them while in Sibu). The good news (for me) is that they seem to like the videos which we put together just in time for their wedding dinner, which always feels nice.

For the wedding, Geoff actually bought a brand new Sony HDR-SR12 AVCHD camcorder - so i could use it to shoot his wedding and so he can take it along for his honeymoon after. It's actually a pretty good camcorder, though a little slow to start up and requiring a wide-angle conversion lens to make it useful for event videography.

The Sony HDR-SR12: Pretty good...

Anyway, I've learnt a few things from this experience:

THE GOOD:
1. It's actually FASTER to deal with AVCHD, hard disk-based camcorders than old-fashioned DV camcorders (provided you've got a powerful Mac and the correct software). With my own tape-based DV camcorder, i need to stream the entire tape onto my Mac before I can start editing. So if i've shot two hours of video, that's TWO hours of waiting for the video to transfer onto my Mac.

But on a hard disk-based AVCHD camcorder, i only need to select the clips i want and my Mac will transfer the files, transcoding them into an editable format - in this case, about an hour of video takes and hour to transcode, which sounds the same as a DV camcorder but the difference is that i transfer ONLY what i want.

2. Apple iMovie '08 isn't as bad as some people make it out to be. If you didn't know, Apple did the unthinkable in 2007 by throwing out its very popular iMovie HD video editing software, and replaced it with iMovie '08, which had a completely different user interface and removed a lot of core features.

Anyway, apart from the absence of special effects such as slow-motion or soft-focus filters, iMovie '08 is pretty good. For starters, it's bloody fast. All text titles, colour correction and transitions are applied in real time, which is great because you don't have to wait for it to render before you can view the results.

And if you're upset about the lack of a traditional video timeline, don't be - the new system is far quicker for scanning through hours of video and cutting things into the correct sequence. I've never cut together a video faster than this, and I certainly didn't expect HD video editing to be this quick.

The only other thing that bothers me is the loss of finer audio level controls and the hack-ish manner to get multiple titles appearing on the same video clip. Other than that, it's brilliant.

THE BAD
3. Videography is a lot more tiring than photography, simply because you have to hold the camera up for a lot longer, and you have to plan in advance whether you've got enough battery power left, whether you want the camera mounted on a tripod and whether you should be at spot A or spot B to get a better shot.

The difference to normal photography is that you can't run to a new spot, take a shot, and run back - you need to spend at least five seconds at a spot to have useable footage, anything shorter may be too abrupt or may not leave you enough room to edit fades, wipes or to fill in gaps in your video.

Also, you sometimes cannot afford to stop filming because you may miss something - which is a problem if you've mounted the camera on a tripod and suddenly have to move the camera while recording.

An obvious solution would be to simply employ another videographer, but that isn't always a good idea because video camcorders are very expensive (the Sony HDR-SR12 i was using costs about RM5000, not including spare batteries and wide-angle lens converters), and that you may end up with TWICE the amount of video to go through. And videos take up far more space on your computer than JPEG photos.

The other problem is that, with two videographers, you're already adding to the array of photographers during an event, which can be annoying to people attending the event, or even your subjects (especially at weddings). And you'll inevitably get in the way of one another, which nicely brings me to my next point:

THE UGLY
4. Digital photography seems to have spawned a new species of subhumans - the unofficial wedding photographer. While I definitely condone friends and family taking photos of the bridal couple during a wedding, 'just in case' the official photographers don't get a shot, anybody who is not an official photographer / videographer must abide by one golden rule:

Never, EVER, get in the way of the official photographers. Take this dude in the red shirt for example:

"Look at me! I'm hogging all the best spots"

This particular idiot was in may way most of the time. Now, I've taken photos at loads of events before (what, being a former journalist and all), and I usually ended up in situations where there are plenty of photographers from different publications, and only one good angle to take a shot. The common thing to do here would be to take a shot at that spot, and then vacate it immediately so that another photographer has a chance. It's common courtesy.

At Geoff's wedding, the two hired official photographers were very courteous to me (the lone videographer) and I'd like to think I got out of their way as much as I could. After all, it's not a competition - we're trying to get shots that Geoff and Joyce would like. I understood that if i didn't give room to the photographer, the wedding couple would not get a shot from that particular angle. And the official photographers understood that, if they didn't give me room, nobody else would get the video footage at that particular angle either. It's a give-and-take situation and we all try to help each other out.

ON THE OTHER HAND, the idiot in the red shirt was HOGGING the good spots. He'd stand there, get a shot and then REVIEW HIS PHOTOS while taking up that precious spot, instead of getting out of the way. There were already TWO official photographers covering the action, the wedding couple certainly didn't need another photographer shooting photos that the professionals would have gotten anyway.

What's worse was that he was taking up precious space when the bridal couple was exchanging vows, rings and lifting the veil. I already had my camcorder mounted on a tripod, so I could stretch it over the two official photographers and film the couple without getting in their way (sort of like a robotic arm).

And because the red-shirted idiot was in my way, i couldn't lower my camcorder to the intended height to shoot the video. This was the result:

This is what happens when overly helpful photographer friends get in the way of a videographer

Well, this wouldn't be a problem if there was another videographer at the wedding... BUT WAIT, I WAS the only videographer at the wedding. So what does it mean? Well, Geoffrey and Joyce have about 5 extra photos of him lifting her veil, but no VIDEO of it. Thanks a lot, you red-shirted idiot - i'm sure the wedding couple would love to thank you for that.

And here's another example of his stupidity...

Take note of the three photographers in front of the bridal couple - only the one on the far right is an official photographer

Look, there is only one angle to shoot a bridal recessional, and that's from the front of the couple as they are walking out. The red-shirted fool decided to stand next to the official photographer and shoot the same shot from the same angle. WHY THE HELL FOR??? It's not like his photos are going to be any better than the official ones - they're from the same bloody angle!!!

Why the hell hog more space? As a result, I had to move BEHIND them (which isn't so bad), and the official photographer could not get a photo from the middle of the aisle either, since he was pushed to the right by that idiot.

I'll tell you why the red-shirted idiot did that. If he's anything like most gear-heads these days (me included), it because he just bought himself a DSLR and wants to "try out" wedding photography since it's the trendy thing to do these days and since digital photography itself is a cool new hobby.

"I know... I'll EXPERIMENT during Geoffrey and Joyce's wedding!!! That way, I'll get to hone my wedding photography skills! And then, I'll get to post up all the photos on Facebook and people will be rushing to tell me what a great photographer i am," thought the red-shirted idiot.

Selfish bastard...

4 more months...

2008-12-22T21:00:00.007+08:00

Boy, this is one long overdue update...

*ahem!*

Roughly five months ago, I came home from work and was greeted by a smiling Elaine. I asked what's up but all she did was gesture towards the bathroom. Once there, I wondered why I had been gestured into a bathroom. Elaine then gestured towards the floor.

I then looked down and saw a little blue dish, which contained what looked, and smelt, like pee. And in the what-looked-and-smelt-like-pee, lay a white paper strip with two little blue lines.

The blue dish

I looked up at Elaine.

Elaine looked back.

I looked down at the blue lines again.

The blue lines looked back.

I looked up at Elaine again.

“Erm... what does this mean?” I asked.

“Well, one line means I'm not pregnant,” she replied.

And at that exact moment, I probably ran through an entire laundry list of emotions simultaneously, which is normally a very hard thing for me to do – considering how bad I am at multi-tasking. Happiness, anxiety, excitement, concern, shock, dread, anticipation and probably more but we'll stop there for now.

The happiness is because I love kids. I've always gotten along with my younger cousins and my little sisters and I've always loved teaching younger people stuff – at the risk of sounding like a cranky old man, giving unsolicited advice.

The anxiety is because I'm a worry wart. We had just celebrated Elaine's birthday a couple of days before and had finished off a bottle of wine, which is supposed to be bad for featuses. Have we taken enough precautions for pregnancy? Vitamins? Supplements? Will the baby be healthy? Will it be a trouble-free pregnancy? Is she really pregnant or is the pregnancy test kit inaccurate?

The excitement, of course, is because Elaine and I are going to be parents! We'll have a child and he / she is ours – a sign of our love. We'll raise him / her, watch him / her grow. We'll be a family.

The concern was because I had no idea what Elaine was thinking at that point in time. At that point in time, we had been married for only 3 months. So yes, we are stereotypical Catholics, then. Was she happy too? Or did she think it was too soon for us to get a kid? Was she ready to have kids?

Eager beavers (at the waiting area in SJMC)

The shock was because we didn't think it would've been so easy to conceive. Just remember, if anybody tells you that it's hard to get pregnant, that you can “do it” a few times without protection and it'll be ok. Before you jump to conclusions, Elaine and I WERE trying for a kid, but we were told by our doctor that, due to a surgery that Elaine recently had and because of some other medical condition, it might be hard for us to get a child. We were expecting to be trying for at least six months or a year before we'd succeed.

The dread, of course, is because Elaine and I are going to be parents... We'll have a child and he / she is ours – which means that we'll have to take care of him / her – 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the first few years. That means no more holidays or carefree afternoons. Everything we do will have some sort of impact on his / her life so we'll have to be good examples.

Boy, I sure wish we already knew what gender our child is so I wouldn't have to keep typing “him / her”.

Elaine getting a checkup

The anticipation is in wondering what our kid will look like. Will he/she have mommy's intense eyes? Will he/she have daddy's potato-shaped head? His giant nostrils? The anticipation is also in wondering what he/she will be like. Will he/she be athletic or a geek? Or both? Will he/she be rebelious or obedient? The do-er or the one who watches from the sidelines.

Ok, so I didn't think about all of these things in that two-or-three-second moment before I blurted to Elaine, asking her if she was happy, whether this was what we wanted before I broke into a smile. A happy, anxious, excited, concerned, shocked, drearful and anticipation-filled smile. But a smile, nonetheless.

My spawn... (at 14 weeks)

Fast forward to the present and Elaine's now 5 months pregnant and still puking her guts out everyday, throughout the day. Whoever called it 'morning' sickness had quite a sense of humour. And before you go “Oh, but it's supposed to end after the first trimester”, TRUST US, it can carry on well after.

And in other news, the little bump in her abdomen is just large enough to suggest that something the size of a grapefruit has taken up residence in her uterus. We're slightly past the halfway mark, now and are already stocking up on various paraphenelia (a big thank you to all who have contributed tons of hand-me-downs).

Now if we only knew what gender he/she is so we could start painting rooms and buying color-coded clothes. Or we could dress him/her up in old potato sacks.

The face of evil...

2008-09-27T15:54:00.003+08:00

Facebook is evil. EVIL!!!

My birthday passed by recently, which is nothing out of the ordinary except for the fact that I had spent the whole day wondering why I didn't get any calls or SMSes from friends, or even emails. But since I'm not that much of a party animal, I was still pleasantly, erm... pleased by the few SMSes I got.

"I guess everyone's busy with life..." I thought.

And then, the next day, I got a call from Warren, who wished me and starting chatting. Then, I told him that I had a nice quiet birthday (Elaine brought me to dinner at Euro Deli - my first time there!) and mentioned that I was nice of him to call since nobody else did.

He then pointed out that I had quite a lot of birthday wishes on my Facebook wall.

OH!

SHIT!

So I quickly logged onto Facebook when I got home that night (I can't access Facebook from my office PC. In fact, I can't access the Internet. For security, you see...). Lo and behold - lots of well wishes completely surrounded by about 13 million other messages.

Ok, I decided I'd reply and say thanks - but since it's all written on a wall, I have to go to each entry and type a reply. But I'd end up having to type essentially the same messages back to everyone - and the new facebook interface is soooo slow that it takes ages to do anything.

And so, I got lazy and just sat there, looking at the 20 or 30 friend requests (half of which are from people I either don't know or whom I'd rather not get reacquainted with). Then, I inspected the 500 or so requests I had received for joining new groups or playing new games, etc... My wall was also completely plastered with updates of what my other friends had been doing or what-not.

And then, I suddenly remembered why I stopped using Friendster, and why I'm very sparingly using Facebook nowadays (whenever I do log on): because it's TIME CONSUMING.

There are just way too many notifications and updates to read or groups to join that I get tired just looking at my damn Facebook home page. And because I'm one of those people who feel bad when I don't reply emails, phonecalls or SMSes, it's particularly stressful because of the sheer number of requests, invitations and wall messages that I end up not responding to.

And even as a means of keeping in touch, Facebook is seriously impersonal.

Sigh.

And the amount of spam is ridiculous. Although it is initially fun to receive funny videos from friends, it's worse when you get the same video sent to you by seven different people. It's even worse when your friends spam you with stuff that doesn't even interest you. For crying out loud, I've even been approached by people trying to RECRUIT me to work in another company.

Next thing you know, I'll be getting advice on how I can increase the size of my manhood.

Facebook's new user interface is also a completely convoluted mess - and it's mostly because it tries to be everything. It tries to be a chat program. It tries to be a messaging program. It tries to be a photo viewing program.

And the best part is that, when viewed as individual components, each of Facebook's features are slow and poorly implemented. There's a good reason why people don't use Facebook for really important, time-sensitive announcements or for work-related stuff. Because it's a mess.

Which is the exact opposite of Gmail, Google Docs, Blogger and the whole family of minimalistic but highly intuitive Google applications.

Yes, Google may be the next big evil corporation, but Facebook is the face of evil.

Burmese hand signals: dodgy...

2008-08-25T15:41:00.005+08:00

Went to a petrol station last night to get a can of Coke from the shop but got there about 10pm - right when the attendants locked the doors for the night. However, he'd just let someone in about 10 seconds earlier so I thought he'd let me in as well.

And so I gestured at the attendant inside the shop (whom I assume to be Burmese) that I wanted to buy a drink - using the universal hand signal for "drink" (i.e. holding an imaginary cup up to my mouth and tipping it).

Unfortunately this gesture probably meant something else in Burmese - the guy didn't get it and kept directing me to the payment window where you'd pay for petrol.

I kept gesturing, and he kept pointing. So I went to the window, and gestured again only to draw blank stares from the group of Burmese attendants, all of whom were beginning to look rather nervous.

This has led me to two possible conclusions, either:

1. The universal hand signal for "drink" means "I want to pump petrol" or (according to Elaine) "I've planted a landmine in your front yard so you better lock your front door" in Burma.

OR

2. The Burmese are just shit at hand signals...

"Wait! WAIT! I meant trim my sideburns some more... *URK!*"

Of course, it's all probably yet another case of me getting poor service in situations where it's normally impossible to get poor service :)

Better late than never, I guess...

2008-08-20T23:13:00.006+08:00

My baby sister turned 18 a couple of months ago, which means that she's reached the legal age for drinking. Which also means that I'm getting old because when I finished secondary school, Kat was just entering PRIMARY school...

*Life flashes before eyes*

Anyway, here are some shots of the celebrations:
"YAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa..."

Guinness puts hair on your chest. Yes.

"Why the hell am I drinking a salad? With vodka in it?"

Kat drinking a big, girly drink...

"Come Kat, down down down DOWN!!!"

"What? Me? Dance? Hahahaha! Oh, you're serious..."

"Mmmmm.... *hic!* Nice, warm and comfy here..."

"I love you, big sis... NYAN!!!"
"Umm... k"

*mumble* *mumble* dunaskmeididn'tbringhershejustfollowedme... *mumble*

Be a man! BUY MY T-SHIRT (part 2)

2008-08-01T00:36:00.003+08:00

Ello everyone...

So far, my attempts at selling T-shirts have bagged me exactly USD 0.00

The good news, though, is that I've got nowhere to go but up. To commemorate my first non-sale, I've come up with another T-shirt. Buy a thousand of these and I'll have enough to buy a new laptop!!! Buy! Buy! Do it naaaaauogh! (click here to buy)

For sprinklers...

Super camcorder?

2008-07-31T23:28:00.004+08:00

Today, my colleagues were watching the following YouTube video about some sort of missile defense system:

And after that, one of them ran to me and had the following conversation with me:

Keith: "Hey, Chris... do you know if there are any video cameras on the market that are designed to track mortar in the air"

Me: "Huh? You mean the mortar that you drop into that barrel and then goes *kapow!* and shoots into the air?"

Keith: "Yeah."

Me: "Consumer video cameras?"

Keith: "Yeah."

Me: "..."

Keith: "...?"

Me: "You're asking me if a consumer video camera has a special mode settings like "daylight", "sports", "landscape", "snow" and then "MORTAR-TRACKING"?

Keith: "Umm... yeah?"

Me: "..."

I highly doubt that Canon has a camcorder in the market that fulfills such a niche. However, if they did have such a setting, it would probably look like this on the mode dial:

NO no no no... You're in APERTURE-PRIORITY mode, silly!

Of course, what I found funny was that my colleagues were more interested in how the hell they caught live artillery / mortar / rocket rounds on video, rather than the laser technology itself :)

More wedding photos up!

2008-07-19T14:59:00.005+08:00

Ello ello!

Finally, I've got an Internet connection at home so I can finally upload all of the photos sitting in my Mac.

They are all on my Flickr page at http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrischong, and they're all nicely sorted into various albums - including specific albums for group photos.

These photos are largely the same collection as the ones uploaded earlier by Elaine (click here), though there are a few more photos here and they're all in higher resolution - about 2-megapixels each, which makes them sharp enough for 4R and 6R prints.

Max also took a whole bunch of excellent photos, which can be viewed on his Flickr site too (click here).

Once again, thanks a bunch to all of you who attended the wedding, especially all of you who came from really far away. And for those of you who couldn't make it, thanks for all your well wishes!

I'm a married man!

2008-06-16T21:24:00.003+08:00

Allo allo,

Seems a bit funny to mention this so much later since the only people who read this blog are my friends (who probably attended the wedding and / or have seen the ton of photos uploaded on Elaine's Facebook) but...

I'm married!

Hee hee... :)

And I'm also moving into a new home, and haven't got an internet connection yet so it's been a pain finding time to blog, upload photos and etc... Doesn't help that I'm running at full steam every day at the office. It's bags of fun, of course, but doesn't leave you much time to muck about the internet.

In the mean time, my newly wedded wife has been tirelessly uploading photos on Facebook and Flickr. So if you want to see some photos, head on to Firechick's photo stream.

Enjoy!

Car pix!

2008-03-08T12:27:00.003+08:00

I've just updated my Flickr album with more photos! Yay! This time, it's a bunch of car photos I've taken. Hope you like it.

I've got a ton of other photos but I've yet to sort them out. Hopefully, I'll find time to upload them as well. Click here to see the album.

Be a man! BUY MY T-SHIRT

2008-02-27T09:42:00.005+08:00

Dear friends,

My laptop is starting to act funny - resetting itself randomly (or whenever I happen to be doing something important on it). Because of this (and the fact that it weighs 2 tons, has a battery life of 45 mins and is really starting to get on a bit), I am now in need of a new one.

Which is why I proudly bring you the "Be a man! BUY MY T-SHIRT" campaign (a.k.a. the "Help Chris to buy a new laptop" charity fund). All proceed will go into a shiny new Apple Macbook, which currently goes for about RM3,999)

We'll start with this T-shirt design, called "The Stephen Oxley":

Click here to go directly to the product page.

Be a man; do the right thing!!!

Under the coconut shell

2008-02-25T23:52:00.003+08:00

Bladee hell! Didn't know that there's a new version of the 50 Ringgit note since Jan 30!!!

Looked bewildered when Elaine whipped it out of her wallet to pay for something.

Goes to show how often I've been reading the newspapers these days... -_-

"Eh? What's this, then...?"

The origins of kobe beef...

2008-02-04T08:10:00.000+08:00

Yay! Another month, another blog entry.

Part of the reason for the lack of updates is the total absence of an Internet connection at my new office. Security and confidentiality, apparently.

So it's been almost a month since I've become a videogames programmer and things are looking good. Surprisingly, I've not had to write a single line of code yet, due to the point-and-click nature of today's modern script-based game engines.

But enough about work, it's time to talk about the origins of kobe beef.

Apparently, it's got something to do with a drunk Japanese farmer and his cow Daisy (according to my future sister-in-law's husband). It goes something like this:

Farmer:

Daisy:

Farmer:

Daisy:

Farmer:

Daisy:

Farmer:

Daisy:

Farmer:

-------------

So, there you go.

Have a happy Chinese New Year

More than just hair wax...

2008-01-10T03:40:00.000+08:00

Happy new year!

I'd like to begin 2008 with a really nice entry. About my predictions for the year, my new-years resolutions and maybe some display of incredible foresight.

Unfortunately, I'm not any good at writing that sort of thing so I'll leave you with a short video I shot and edited for some online contest:

No, this has nothing to do with it being a new year. Enjoy :)

Hello 2008 (a.k.a. Getting back on track)

2007-12-28T20:54:00.000+08:00

It's been a funny month, December.

I quit my job as a journalist and got a job in a local games development company (though I'm only scheduled to start in the 2nd week of Jan). Being between jobs, this also meant that I've had much more time to myself than usual.

In the past month, I've been busy getting my life in order - running all sorts of errands and doing stuff I otherwise wouldn't have time to do while I'm working.

I've also had plenty of time to think, and to reflect on the many things that have happened to me the past six years or so (i.e. ever since I left university).

Forgive me if you've heard this rant before (click here for a refresher) but this post has a lot to do with my career.

Long story short: I went to university with a rather odd dream, an unconventional for the time. I wanted to make videogames, by becoming a games programmer. Then I came out of university, bummed around for 9 months while unsuccessfully trying to come up with some game demo to boost my employment prospects.

Then I got into a relationship (which necessitated a job - it's expensive stuff, mind you). After thinking for a bit, I ended up becoming a tech journalist. So yes, it was a detour.

A bittersweet one.

I loved the life of a tech journalist, getting to do all sorts of stuff I'd otherwise never had the opportunity to do (such as traveling all over the world, interviewing big names in the IT industry, meeting all sorts of characters and crashing an expensive German sedan into a field).

I loved the work environment too, especially all of my fantastic colleagues.

And all the while, I kept telling myself that this was what I wanted. I kept telling myself I should be happy - after all, plenty of people were envious of my job. Yes, I was happy, but I kept longing for my original dream.

I asked myself whether I was blessed or just being foolish.

But now, looking back, it was a hell of a journey but the path eventually led me right back to my original dreams.

In a chance encounter, I heard about a potential job opening at a local games company. I had long thought that this ship had already sailed, but then God decided to throw a curve ball and gave me a chance to get back on the right track.

What surprised me was how difficult a decision it would be. I was very comfortable in my job as a journalist and I would be giving up a lot to pursue a career in game development.

I cast my net and - surprise - it turns out that I'm qualified to be a game programmer all along! Of course, it probably helped that I knew the guys at this company from some previous interviews I had conducted.

The irony of it all was that all of my experimenting with Pocket PC and J2ME mobile game development was unnecessary. I had what it took all along. I was much better than I thought.

If there was one thing I learnt from my previous job, it was that I could punch above my weight and push boundaries. I learnt that my attitude towards work was different from about 90% of the workforce. I was more passionate and more eager to try out new things.

So here I am, about to continue a journey I had abandoned some 5 years ago because I thought I wasn't good enough. I'm finally getting back on track. I'm going to become a games developer :)

I'm both excited and terrified at the prospects of beginning this new job, though. I've got loads of catching up to do and so many new things to learn.

I feel empowered. I feel like I've finally gotten my life back.

I am blessed.

Here's to a cracking 2008.

Just a comic

2007-12-17T16:48:00.000+08:00

I've got a bit of spare time, so I decided to draw a four-panel comic. Do pardon the shoddy artwork :)

Wedding photographers: overpaid?

2007-12-03T01:34:00.000+08:00

I was following Elaine on one of her meetings with various tailors and designers, inquiring about the cost of making a wedding dress. And it seems that the average wedding gown costs about RM2000 in this day and age.

When you think about the amount of time to make a dress (about 2 months or more) and all of the effort it takes to measure, sew, fit, alter and whatnot a dress, it definitely seems worth it.

Yes, it's a dress you'll probably only wear once in your lifetime (unless, like me, you're a guy, whereby it would be preferable to never have to wear one, unless you're a drag queen. Or weird) but the craftsmanship that goes behind a dress isn't something to be taken lightly.

Don't believe me? You try making a dress...

Now, the point at which I'm getting to is this: A wedding photographer gets paid about RM2000 (sometimes more) for a day's work.

This involves snapping about 1,000 mostly identical photographs of the bride and groom during the wedding ceremony, the various customs (tea drinking in Chinese weddings, for example) and during the wedding luncheon and/or dinner.

Once he goes home, he uploads all of this into his PC or Mac, uses custom software to sort, compare and shortlist photos, and later sends a small selection to a photo printer, burning the rest into a DVD-R disc (nobody uses CDs anymore...).

And by the end of the week (once he's gotten off his arse), he'll hand it to you in a lovely, wrapped package. All for a princely sum of RM2000.

Incidentally, the price of a wedding dress and a day-long photography service are the same: about RM2000.

While no one will ever doubt that dressmaking is a skill, any monkey can pose as a professional photographer these days.

And looking at the sort of quality people are getting from wedding photographers, they may as well pay peanuts too!

What's annoying is that are many so-called professionals with almost no understanding of exposure, lighting, basic composition or even common sense.

These are the pros who insist on using a bounce flash in a ballroom with a 30-foot high ceiling (that's almost never white in colour to begin with - thus diminishing its reflective properties further). And without any white card or diffuser!!! And sometimes, these idiots forget to re-align the direction of the flash when they're switching from portrait to landscape, thus blinding the person standing directly to their left, who was wondering "What's this big thing pointing at m.... *ACK!*"

These are the pros who don't use a fill-in direct flash (with or without a diffuser) when shooting indoors, and in poor lighting conditions. They normally 'fix' their mistakes in Photoshop by playing around with levels and curves, until the bride's gown becomes a mass of white rather than textured cloth - and until the people's faces end up being a contrasty shade of orange, simply because of colour banding and incorrect white balance to begin with.

These are the pros who don't check focus, constantly having distant background objects in focus instead.

These are the pros who are spending too much time finding a use for their expensive new, telephoto 300mm prime lens (with constant f/2.8 aperture) rather than just sticking to a lens that's suitable for the occasion. Take note: this is fine if the pro is using the lens for just a couple of shots with shallow depth of field. But if he's using the same lens for more than 15 minutes, he's just using the lens for his own entertainment - cumming over the shallow depth of field.

These are the pros who get in the way of priests and/or other important people during church weddings - just to get 20 shots of two wedding rings being doused by Holy water (shots which you'll probably not notice as you flip through your wedding albums in future). The same idiots will also stick their camera in continuous shutter burst and take 10 identical shots every time the bride/groom poses for about 2 seconds. Take note: they're posing, not running through a finish line.

These are the pros who also insist on NOT using a flash AT ALL when shooting indoors because the available lighting from the yellow tungsten/halogen bulbs "looks more natural." True, but because of the limited dynamic range of photographs, everyone will end up looking like a panda, with harsh shadows cast over their eyes. If that's what you're looking for, then good for you.

These are the pros who shoot with the camera's small image settings (i.e. If it's a 10-megapixel camera, he'll shoot at 2.5-megapixels) so that they can store more photos on their CF cards. If you're only going to make 4R (4x6in) prints, then fine. But if they're taking a big group shot which is likely to be printed on A4-sized enlargements, you're screwed.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't pay a photographer RM2000 or more if he's really good. The problem, however, is that most people won't know if a wedding photographer is good or bad until after the fact. In fact, most people can't even tell that a picture is badly taken unless there's a side-by-side comparison with a good one.

The problem is that anybody can buy a digital SLR, some lenses and flashes and instantly look like a pro.

Which means that problem is that you won't really know if there's a problem until the problem has happened.

The problem is that it's now 2:30am and I'm feeling cranky. And Ranty. And why the hell are there ants on my desk???

Erm. So yes. The moral of the story is this: If you're getting a wedding photographer and are fussy about whether or not your pictures look great, make sure you've seen his/her prior work before agreeing.

The other lesson of the day is that wedding dresses are better value than some pro photographers. Goodnight.

If God drove a 4-door sedan...

2007-11-13T17:24:00.000+08:00

...He'd drive this:

A Honda Civic Type-R FD2

I had the pleasure of trying out the new Honda Civic Type-R in Sepang Circuit, courtesy of Honda Malaysia.

Now, I've not driven that many cars before, but I highly doubt you'll ever find another FF (Front-engine, Front-wheel-drive) car that'll outperform this on a race track. Though it looks a lot like a regular Civic with some lame spoilers, skirts and air dams, it's a completely different beast.

The rear end will be a familiar sight on highways. There's a rear diffuser below the bumper.

Welcome to heaven. Check out the manual gearbox - when's the last time you saw one of these???
The 2.0-litre Honda K20A iVTEC engine churns out 225BHP at over 8000RPM. PHWOAAARRRR!!!!

The engine is super smooth and supremely powerful, the suspension is perfectly set up for track work so it corners with God-like amounts of grip and its 6-speed manual gearbox is soooo darn precise, you have to wonder why Honda doesn't include it with regular Civics (for that matter, I don't see why any car nut would ever one to go back to an auto box).

And thanks to its advanced LSD (that's a limited-slip differential, not the hallucinogenic drug), it's almost impossible to induce understeer in hard cornering - even if you've got your foor buried on the throttle.

Speaking of which, the pedals in this car are perfectly positioned for nifty heel-and-toe downshifts, aided also by a well dampened clutch and superb throttle response.

In a nutshell, this car provides so much feedback and is a delight to the senses - you can feel every corner and push harder and harder towards the car's limits, unlike any other FF you've probably driven.

I tried Mercedes' entire 2005 AMG range (apart from the SL55, which I didn't get a stab at) at Sepang Circuit a few years ago and even though all of those cars sported much more torque and horsepower, none can come anywhere close to providing this much excitement and intimacy.

The only problem is, I only had four laps in the Type-R (after three in the regular 2.0 Civic) and was just starting to get comfortable with doing four-wheel drifts before running out of time.

Heading out of the pits

Whatever it is, I'm completely smitten. For less than RM200k, this is definitely the best car in the world. Buy one now! NOW! If I could sell a kidney to finance one of these, I would. After the session, I was giggling like a little girl for a good 10 minutes :)

(I hear the waiting list goes all the way to 2009, though - and I might not last that long sans a kidney. Also note that Malaysia is the only country outside of Japan to have this Japan-spec Civic Type-R officially available).

What the hell...?

2007-10-08T15:43:00.001+08:00

Got word that there's a photo of me on 1Utama's website for its Batting Cages!

Click here to see the full page.

Which is quite strange because that was my first time there, and I had also blogged about it before... :)

I'm famous!

How the mighty have fallen...

2007-09-24T11:59:00.000+08:00

Honda's ASIMO - former million-dollar stair-climbing robot...

...now reduced to secondary PDA cradle support:
Where's that little robot?

"Me want to climb stairs instead!"

Morgan Freeman = super

2007-09-24T11:49:00.000+08:00

Spotted the following DVD in the a local video store:

Morgan Freeman: The Movie

At first I was wondering what the hell it was. But upon closer inspection, it turns out to be a compilation of Morgan Freeman's best movies on a few discs. Cool.

The clincher, though, was this little gem at the top-right corner of the cover:

Super black film star... :)

Cheryl calls room service...

2007-09-21T12:41:00.000+08:00

The wedding dinner just ended. It's past midnight, and we're hanging out in Thomas and Amelia's bridal suite, having drinks and basically having a laugh.

And then, we ran out of ice. And Colin took it upon himself to call room service for more ice. However, his alter ego took over...

Oh, and I'll post up photos from the wedding (on Flickr) once I've gotten some work out of the way. This was the first time I've been involved in both pre-wedding and actual day photography.

Me in action

It was bags of fun... :)

I killed a fruit fly today...

2007-09-17T17:18:00.000+08:00

I'm back at the office today. And it turns out that the little insects that have been terrorising me here were fruit flies (see post "We're being followed"). And I killed one of them!!!

I rock!

Extreme closeup

While not exactly fast, these little buggers are really small and my eye-sight is shit. So yes, I'm quite happy to have made it dead.

Now if only some of the other pests in the office could be dispatched of as effortlessly...

Selling out to the man...

2007-09-10T16:58:00.000+08:00

From Her World magazine or something like that.

Quote: "This fragrance gives me the confidence I need to help me get through the day"

Indeed... :)

Click on the image for the full-sized pic

We're being followed...

2007-09-10T16:31:00.000+08:00

I had a nagging suspicion all day that I was being followed by insects. Everywhere I went, i could feel something crawling around my scalp, skipping across my neck. Inside my shirt and moving underneath my socks. Sometimes I even caught a glimpse of something small flying in front of my eyes.

Bzzzzzzz...

It even followed me in my car when I went to the camera equipment store in SS2. Kit was telling me that it's just my imagination - my hair getting into my eyes or something like that.

But when I got back to the office, it turns out that everyone's been bugged by little insects all day too.

So yes, I'm not crazy, but a small colony of insects may be building a nest in my head. Which means I've got cooties. Cool.

Updated to a Flickr Pro account!

2007-08-29T15:17:00.000+08:00

Yay! I've now got a decent place to upload photos and stuff. I'm still in the process of sorting out and uploading more pix, so it's a little messy for now.

My Flickr!

Still haven't joined any groups yet. So yes, I've now officially joined the legions of wannabe photographers, camwhores and pretentious people.

The joy of Fax...

2007-08-23T13:07:00.000+08:00

As I was sending a fax to a hotel in Bali the other day, it suddenly dawned upon me how satisfying (on a physical, psychological and emotional level) it is to send a fax.

It all begins with typing out a document with ultra sexy formatting and using words like "Attention:", "Re:" and "To whomever it may concern". The document must fit on a single A4 page yet contain all of the necessary information, which means that some revisions are required to make it all much more concise and wonderfully elegant.

This is, of course, incredibly gratifying as I stare at the screen, alternating between "print preview" mode and editing mode whilst making little adjustments here and there to tart it up.

And once I'm done typing it, I print it on my inkjet printer, with the print-quality settings set at "Ultra High" and on high quality 80g A4 paper.

This Ultra High quality mode causes the print head caress the A4 paper ever so gently and with more passes per row of text as if laying more coats of much thinner paint to produce a fantastic finish. Or in this case, crisper text.

With printout in hand, I march towards the beckoning fax machine, sitting idly in the corner with a dim red glow emanating from its LED power indicator. I slot my A4 paper into its feeding tray (face down, of course), dial in the fax number and watch as the fax machine gently whispers cryptic modem strings over the telephone line to the fax machine on the other side.

And suddenly, the fax machine springs to life, sucking my A4 printout into its gigantic (yet wafer-thin) orifice while it hums. It's a low pitch hum. While it's almost inaudible from the outside of the house, it strongly resonates throughout the halls and corridors within, as it transmits bit and bytes across the copper wires - sending my lovingly crafted document to an eagerly awaiting receptionist on the other end.

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

And after the climax, the humble fax machine pipes down, ejecting my A4 printout from its nether regions. It lets out a faint beep and tells me that everything's ok through its LCD panel (to be precise, it says "Send OK").

I take my A4 printout, having served its purpose, crumple and toss it into the waste paper basket. While I've satiated my hunger for now, it'll be about 30 minutes before I long to send another fax.

hummmmmmmmmmm...

----------------------------

The problem with holidays is that you suddenly find yourself with a lot of free time and not much to do.

Silence, it can be stunning.

2007-08-14T02:03:00.000+08:00

I was driving home just a couple of hours ago (around midnight) when it occurred to me that my car was being uncharacteristically silent. You see, it's normally a hell of a noisy beast when on the move - the slightest of surface undulations would normally send the car flying off at a tangent, resulting in all manner of squeaks, creaks and very worrying, metallic sounding "Clunk!" sounds. Oh, and they seemed to have forgotten to attach the suspension when it was on the assembly line.

So yes, it's put together like a typical Italian car. Which meant that it should've been really noisy considering that most of the roads leading to my house are dotted with small craters attempting to pass off as potholes.

But no. There was absolute silence. It was like a magic carpet ride.

The reason, of course, was that the potholes were no longer there. And the reason for that, of course, is that the roads have been paved. ALL of them.

And the reason that ALL of the roads have been paved is because the general elections are just around the corner and the federal government needs to show that it's actually running the country properly.

And to show that it is indeed running the country properly, they've decided to pave all the roads with glistening, fresh, black tarmac. Mmmmmm...

Never mind that the crime rate is soaring, that inflation is slowly turning my 50 ringgit notes into small change, and that for some reason, it has become socially acceptable for you to thrust a sword into the air during a political party general assembly while screaming some sort of battle cry - as long as our roads are paved, we're happy.

Now this is actually a good thing. I recently spent over 600 ringgit repairing my suspension (turns out there was one after all) after several years of driving into inverted speed bumps.

Want better roads? Vote for this guy!

But here's the thing.

The roads are only paved about once every five years, which coincides with the general elections (held every five years or so). Which is a problem because the roads normally deteriorate into the rut-infested variety after two years, which leaves us with about three years of shitty roads.

This means, of course, that unless we have general elections every two years we aren't going to get freshly paved roads every two years.

Which means, of course, that we must somehow get the government to hold general elections every two years.

And to do that, we must... must... erm... well you know. Yeah.

Sorry, but that's about as far as I thought. I do like the freshly paved roads, though.

World's greatest comb-over

2007-08-10T16:17:00.000+08:00

Going bald? No problem - all you need is a hairdryer, a hairbrush, some hair wax and shitloads of patience (i.e. about 40 minutes of your time) to transform yourself from spud to stud...

Brilliant stuff, this.

I touched it!!!

2007-08-10T14:42:00.000+08:00

Look what I got my grubby hands on today:

Hmm... shiny phone you've got there... hang on!

It's an iPhone!!! A real one! Not some origami thingy!

Yes, my sex appeal has gone up by 3.142%.

I am now God's gift to a woman again... (yes, that's singular, not plural)

Intel angers anti-racism racist with potentially racist ad

2007-07-31T23:34:00.000+08:00

Wandered around Gizmodo when I came across a post about this ad from Intel...

I find this ad funny because:
1. If the sprinters took off, they'd bash each other in the head.
2. It looks like the black sprinters are bowing down to a white boss - which is funny when you think about ho on earth the ad agency could possibly let this through. This is one laughably bad faux pas.
3. The ad is terrible. The colours, the composition and the overall message is so bad that it's good.

I also highly recommend reading the comments on Gizmodo's post - there's a fantastic debate going on which shows a perfect example of the reverse bigotry (i.e: the "Help! Help! I'm oppressed! Let's kill the evil white man!" syndrome) that seems to afflict individuals from the poorer rung of society; blaming their inability to excel on the events of the past rather than actively doing something about it.

From the comments, it seems to me that at least one person in the African American community has a gigantic chip on his shoulder and - from the way they're talking - seem to have been enslaved and oppressed for the past 300 years and counting. So much so that it's given him a green card to be a racist himself. Funny, this.

Look. At least, a black kid can dream about becoming the President of the USA. Hell, there's a chance one of them may end realising that dream.

A young Chinese kid would probably be detained without trial for pursuing such a dream in Malaysia. Either that, or his parents will laugh at him. Repeatedly.

This Intel ad basically plays on stereotypes, which are bound to offend the sensitive.

Speaking of which, it's quite funny how I'm the complete opposite of the Chinese stereotype.

1. I can't speak Chinese
2. I can't do mathematics to save my life.
3. I actually have rather good manners.
4. I don't squat on toilet seats.
5. I'm actually soft spoken - unless I'm being an arrogant arse.
6. I prefer western food to a bowl of rice. Sometimes.
7. I think that China is the most disgusting thing on earth - it's people, it's government, it's arrogance towards Taiwan, it's appalling human rights record and what they've done to Tibet. And the Yang Tze river dolphin. And the silly epic movies they do with a complete disregard for pacing and storytelling, hoping instead to impress the audience with lavish costumes, swordfights and shit.
8. I think the Chinese infatuation with the number eight is stupid.
9. I'm taller than the average white european male.
10. I have a rather huge penis. Really. Now why would I lie to you? Ha? Ha? Ha? You want to fight, arr...?

Nando's: well-hung

2007-07-30T10:22:00.000+08:00

The Nando's giant ebony rooster mascot was doing its rounds in 1-Utama. Childish/Clever captions ensue.. hur! hur! ^_^

"Look, it's a big black COCKeral"

OR

"Look, it's a young Asian girl with a big black COCKerel coming from behind!"

I wonder if anyone at Nando's thinks the same about this?

Wheee...!!! I feel so childish! :)

You've got the Touch

2007-07-13T11:01:00.000+08:00

This is some video we made at work (yes, we have to do videos now). The device you see here is the HTC Touch - an iPhone-like PDA that runs on Windows Mobile.

Click To Play

Just posting it here to test this YouTube-like service called Blip.TV. It's quite cool and - unlike YouTube - it automatically generates video podcasts with RSS, so people can subscribe to your videos.

Haven't had much experience with it but so far, it's good.

Saving money...

2007-07-12T17:23:00.000+08:00

I live approximately 200m from my office (literally on the same street), which is walking distance except that my house is up a hill (about 50ft elevation or so), which means that - while walking to my office is easy - coming home will be tiring as hell since I have to climb back up the hill (Which I've tried before, so I know).

However, I have devised an ingenious plan to get to the office and back without having to drive, walk or cycle:

1. All I have to do is walk out of my house and hail a taxi at the traffic lights (while it's still red).
2. Once the taxi is moving, I tell him I want to go to Penang (which is like a five-hour drive north).
3. The driver will tell me I'm crazy.
4. I'll then tell the driver to take me back to my house.
5. The driver will then tell me to eat shit and die.
6. He'll drop me off at the end of the street - where my office is.

^_^

I figure I can probably get away with this a couple of times before they start to catch on.

The problem, though, is in coming back home (which is uphill). From my office, there's way too many exits and stops on the way back to my house. Sigh...

The ultimate diet Coke shootout.

2007-06-25T12:56:00.000+08:00

I’m addicted to Coke (the soft drink, not the white powder that you ingest through your nostrils).

I’ve been drinking Coke ever since I learnt how to operate a bottle opener (about the age of 4), and have been regularly drinking the shit at least twice a day for the past 24 years.

When I was in university, I drank Coke as a substitute for coffee – to wake me up in the mornings as I drag myself to the lecture theatres.

During the season of Lent, I abstain from Coke as a form of fasting. So yes, I do like Coke very very much.

The problem, however, is that I’m getting rather rotund and have grown a second chin.

Coke contains loads of calories, which means that the more I drink it, the more of a fat ass I’ll become. This is especially since I’m approaching 30 and my metabolic rate isn’t what it used to be. And so, I’ve embarked on a task to find the ideal alternative low-calorie Coke.

Coke and its sugar-free friends...

Coke contains about 42 Calories (or 42kcal) per 100ml, which is a lot. Let’s see how the alternatives measure up…

Coke Light
Calories: 0.3 kcal per 100ml
Price: between RM1.40 to RM1.70 per 325ml can
Availability: Almost anywhere you can also find regular coke.

Coke Light: It's not shit.

Well, this is the most obvious choice for Coke lovers – it’s by the same guys who make Coke and is easily available. Some places price it at RM0.10 more per can than regular Coke, which is evil.

Unfortunately, it does taste rather different – kinda like a cross between original Coke and Dr Pepper (yuck) but with a very strong artificially sweetened taste. You’ll get used to it eventually though it’ll never replace the real thing.

Diet Coke Caffeine Free
Calories: 0.5 kcal per 100ml
Price: RM4.90 per 330ml can
Availability: Cold Storage supermarkets

Diet Coke Caffeine Free: It's shit

It comes in a golden can and costs an arm and a leg (since it’s imported from the UK). But is it any better than Coke Light? Sadly, no.

Not only does it still have the artificial taste, the absence of caffeine means that it doesn’t give you that extra buzz in the morning – to get you and your bowels going. Don’t waste your money on this rubbish.

Coke Zero
Calories: 0.5 kcal per 100ml
Price: RM4.90 per 330ml can
Availability: Cold Storage supermarkets

Coke Zero: the almost Coke

Now here’s something different! Kinda like Coke Light but with the promise of the original Coke taste, Coke Zero is the real deal and almost tastes as good as original Coke.

There’s only a hint of that artificial sweetener taste, though it’s mostly masked by the other flavours that create that distinctive Coke taste.

Unfortunately, it’s also RM4.90 a can because it’s imported all the way from the UK. But if you’re filthy rich and need a Coke without the calories, this is the drink for you.

Conclusion
Even though Coke Zero tastes fantastic, its high price is bound to turn away even the most dedicated of Coke drinkers. Which means that most of us will still have to settle for the second best product – Coke Light. Sigh.

Of course, there is another evil option: Pepsi Max or Pepsi Light!

Sugar-free Pepsi: As evil as sin, but tastes rather good...

Yes, Pepsi is evil but for some reason, its sugar-free cola offerings are closer in taste to the company’s original full-flavoured Pepsi. I’ve only drunk Pepsi Light or Pepsi Max when I didn’t have any other choice, though I have to admit that I’m quite impressed by the taste.

So I guess it’s down to two choices if you’re on a budget: settle for sub-par Coke Light or drink Pepsi Light/Max and shoot yourself later.

Brought to you by the letter "F"

2007-06-08T15:15:00.000+08:00

The plant species of the day is:

The FARKleberry
(pronounced "Far kel berry", not "Fark le berry")

Definition from Wikipedia:
Vaccinium arboreum (Sparkleberry or FARKleberry) is a species of Vaccinium native to the southeastern United States, from southern Virginia west to southeastern Missouri, and south to Florida and eastern Texas.

It is a shrub (rarely a small tree) growing to 3-5 m (rarely 9 m) tall. The leaves are evergreen in the south of the range, but deciduous further north where winters are colder; they are oval-elliptic with an acute apex, 3-7 cm long and 2-4 cm broad, with a smooth or very finely toothed margin. The flowers are white, bell-shaped, 3-4 mm diameter, with a five-lobed corolla, produced in racemes up to 5 cm long. The fruit is a round dry berry about 6 mm diameter, green at first, black when ripe, edible but bitter and tough.

----

So, now you know.

FARKleberry... :)

This is SPAAAAAARTAAAAA!!!!

2007-06-01T11:32:00.000+08:00

Little sis no. 2 left a note on my door a couple of days ago. It's the school holidays and she's bored out of her skull (as usual).

Then, she left another drawing on my door today:

How cute :)

I suppose both Leonidas and V ended up in hell, then...

What's on top of your monitor?

2007-05-29T13:03:00.000+08:00

One of the biggest problems with LCD monitors is that you can't put your toys and action figures on top of them - simply because they're too narrow.

Which is why I'm glad my company is too cheapskate to buy new LCD monitors for the office. This is what the top of my monitor currently looks like:

Old monitors: good display cabinets

Starting from the left, I've got a solar-powered "Maneki Neko", a Tomy Flip Flap solar-powered plant, two Kiwi tiki dolls behind it, a dancing hamster that sings Kung Fu Fighting, a Tomy Bit Char-G remote controlled Ferrari F40 in front of it, an AV-98 Ingram Unit 2 from Patlabor, the remote control for the Bit Char-G behind it and Asamiya Athena and Mai Shiranui from the King of Fighters series.

The latest addition to my collection is the AV-98 Ingram. It's part of the Revoltech series of action figures made by Kaiyodo. It's a fully posable figure with ball joints all over the place, which is good.

bang!

If you've not seen the Patlabor TV series before, I highly recommend it. It was one of the pioneering Anime in the late 80s and early 90s, and had a huge pool of talent working on it - including Mamoru Oshii of Ghost in the Shell fame.

Unlike most other robot Anime of the time, the show was written largely for an adult audience and had rather sophisticated humour and themes. Plus, its cute to see big ass robots doing mundane stuff like directing traffic and helping old ladies cross the street.

Anyway, what's on YOUR desk? :)

Japan GT arrives!

2007-05-26T04:17:00.000+08:00

For the benefit of the uninformed, the Japan GT is an annual event in Malaysia where Japanese girls dressed in tacky (and revealing) plastic / polystyrene clothes saunter around a race track - holding umbrellas and posing for sweaty palmed photographers.

Apparently, an automobile race of some description takes place as well, though that's not important. After all, you'd have to be either too geeky or gay to prefer training your zoom lens on a polycarbonate sports car instead of a silicon-filled race queen.

Which isn't likely because:
a) All geeks are closet perverts and would rather stare at women than cars (the cars are just an excuse).
b) Gay people seem to like cars less than women (Note: this is a random assumption).

Anyway, the good news for the guys at the office was that the Japan GT came to us this year. Yes, a couple of race queens graced our cubicles and caused quite a stir among the sweaty palmed male population in the building.

Konnichi wa! O genki desuka? Minna de fukuran desuka? Doki doki waku waku!

They started with Mr Steven Patrick, who was sitting closest to the door. And for the first time in his life, Steven pretended he actually likes cars.

Konnichi wa! O genki desuka? Shah Ruh Khan desu ne? Kahlia-jin ga DAI-suki desu!

Next, they headed to Ron's desk for a photo opportunity.

Konnichi wa! O genki desuka? Polycarbonate sports car ga suki desuka?

SO there you go. That's the Japan GT.

...and she said, "Yes."

2007-05-22T10:00:00.001+08:00

^_^

We just came back from an excruciating climb up Mount Kinabalu, Sabah (Well, actually the descent was a lot more painful) - took banana loads of photographs there though I've already posted most of them on my Flickr site, which seems more suitable for displaying a large number of pictures.

For me, the highlight of the trip was when Elaine and I reached the summit of Mount Kinabalu:

We made it!

We were really slow going up the mountain - thanks to altitude sickness and general lethargy - what should have been a 2- to 3-hour climb from Laban Rata turned into a grueling 5-hour crawlfest.

Anyway, after taking a few pictures at the peak, I told Elaine: "Before I continue taking pictures, there's something I must do..."

I went down on one knee, fumbled with the plastic wrapper concealed in my wallet - where I had hid a ring. A ring that I subsequently slipped onto Elaine's finger, though we were wondering which hand/finger it should've been - we were sobbing :)

I told her that I love her with all my heart and all my soul.

I told her that she brought me happiness nobody else has ever given me.

I asked her if she would be my wife.

...and she said yes ^_^

Me and my future wife

This was the second time I've cried tears of joy (the first was when I got accepted into University, what with my shitty A-Levels results and all).

And after this moment of pure bliss, we had to quickly make way for a group of elderly Japanese tourists who caught up with and later overtook us on the way down the mountain.

And she had to take the ring off her finger, otherwise, she might have scratched it :)

We did contemplate re-enacting the whole thing so we could get it on video, but that would be lame... -_-

For more pictures and commentary about the Kinabalu climb, visit my Flickr gallery at www.flickr.com/photos/chrischong/

Music Reviews #1

2007-04-18T13:19:00.000+08:00

I'm not exactly the biggest music fan on the planet, but I do like my music. And I also have a bad habit of actually buying original CDs (Yes, they do sound better than the stuff you download off the net half the time).

Without further ado, here are a couple of the latest music CDs I've bought:

Album: The Cream of Clapton
Artist(s): Eric Clapton, Derek and the Dominoes, Cream.
Price: RM30-something, I think

Yes, I realise that this compilation was first available in 1994 - but then again, I'm not exactly Mr Current Affairs either...

I've been on a bit of an Eric Clapton craze lately and have been listening to shiteloads of stuff - mostly from his post-UNplugged/Tears-in-heaven days. And I liked it, except that most music snobs would tell me, "Bah... Clapton's best songs were before he became clean. When he was still doing drugs and shit."

"Really?" I said.

"Yes. Especially the original recording of Layla by Derek and the Dominoes," reply the elitist bastards.

"Derek and the what?"

"Look, just buy one of those old compilation CDs and you'll know what I mean."

(Of course, this is only a hypothetical conversation and is more of a summary of many conversations I've had with people whenever I tell them how much I like "Blue Eyes Blue" and the "Clapton Chronicles" CD.)

Anyway, I buy The Cream of Clapton because it's listed on most websites as the best single-CD compilation of Eric's songs prior to cleaning up his act.

And yes, it is a rather brilliant CD - well at least half of it is. It's a good mix of Rock, Blues, Country and Reggae. Yes, Reggae. The best songs are undoubtedly Layla, Badge, Strange Brew, White Room, Bell Bottom Blues, I Shot the Sheriff and Wonderful Tonight.

Apart from having fantastic melodies and some of the best guitarwork ever, it also showcases Clapton's talent at singing. He's not the most acrobatic vocalist in town, but at least his sound is distinctive - you certainly wouldn't mistake him for the 13 million Eddie Vedder soundalikes on the radio today.

But most of all, there's a lot of soul in his music. A lot of feeling. Unlike most of the manufactured garbage on radio these days. Yes, I've become an old fart at the age of 27.

Anyway, buy this album. I highly recommend it.

Most of the other songs are rather forgetful.

------------

Album: Permission to Land
Artist: The Darkness
Price: RM40-something

Yes, I've heard the Darkness on the radio before and liked their songs but never really knew much about them. So imagine my embarrassment when I went around asking for the band's compilation albums (They've only got two albums, in case you didn't know).

Permission to Land is their first album, and what an album it is - it's one of the few albums I've ever bought in which almost every song is excellent! There's enough variation in style and sound to make it interesting enough to listen to repeatedly.

My favourite songs of course are "Love Is Only A Feeling", "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" and "Growing On Me".

Generally, what I like most about the album is that the songs sound happy, as opposed to making you want to jump off a bridge. These are the sort of songs that get your feet tapping and get you pressing the repeat button.

If there's only one problem, it's that The Darkness is no longer the same band - frontman Justin Hawkins has left the band and is now going solo. Haven't heard any of his new songs yet, but I'll look.

And no, he is NOT gay. In spite of the fact that he sounds like a modern Freddie Mercury, sings in a ear-piercing falsetto voice and wears flamboyant catsuits, he is NOT gay. Not gay, I tell you.

Hawkins: Not gay...

Best album I've bought in years. This album came out in 2003, btw, so I'm only four years late on this one :)

I fire some guns...!

2007-04-09T10:30:00.000+08:00

The guys at the office were invited to Hari Tentera Darat Ke-74 (That's the 74th Army day to you non Malays speaking people), where members of the media were invited to shoot some guns and to basically muck around with their gear.

Wah... so long!

The thing is, I was expecting to be blown away by firing guns (figuratively, not literally). However, it didn't feel any more menacing than firing a paint-ball gun. I like firing paintball guns, btw - but I was expecting it to be more shiok. Never meet your childhood heroes, I guess....

There was a competition among members of the media - where each team of five faces off with another team to hit down 10 metal plates per team. The first team to finish goes to the next round. Of course, this was very cool :)

Edwin, Ron, Kelly, Ravind and me - preparing for our exit from the shooting competition.

We were beaten by some extreme posers from Berita Harian or something - damn annoying, the bastards wore bandanas, did stretch exercises and had battle cries and shit. All for a simple session in a shooting range. What's even more pathetic was that we lost to them by less than a second. The bastards...

Yes, this post is a little overdue. But rather than write more about it, I've posted it up on YouTube as a video... Enjoy :)

Hanif's secret weapon

2007-04-09T10:13:00.000+08:00

Hanif reveals his secret weapon:

Using THREE mics so he's only 1/3 as shitty at Karaoke (or three times as good).

Culling the human race...

2007-03-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

There are precisely 5 sorts of humans who should be wiped off the face of the planet. It would be a great injustice for these things to breed, propagating their inferior and very stupid genes around the place.

"Dieeeee...!!!"

Here they are, in order of decreasing right to exist:

5. The Inconsiderate
This is the turd who talks behind you in the cinema and kicks your seat. The asshole who stands on the toilet seat (either that or urinates all over it for fun). The type of smoker who blows smoke in your face and tells you "Oh, it's my right - this is not a non-smoking area."

He's the rich prick in the Mercedes Benz who double parks on a busy main road because he doesn't want to pay parking fees (thus causing a jam). Who also tosses rubbish out his car window because it's dirty. The annoying kid who pushes his way past you on a crowded queue/escalator (some adults do this too!!! - mostly mainland Chinese).

These are the people who queue jump. The lazy co-worker who expects others to pick up the slack.

What's rather annoying about these idiots is that everything that they do is at an inconvenience to someone else. Which is rather funny, because even they are annoyed by their own kind.

4. The Disgusting
This is the retard who wets the entire bathroom by cleaning his face, or flings his hands everywhere except into the basin after washing them (thus, splattering water over all other humans in the vicinity).

He's the chain-smoker who gives you a shoulder massage - leaving a nauseating imprint of his scent on your collars (no, I'm not making this up!). The horribly overweight woman who wears a belt, passing it off as a skirt (strangely, this type of person also wears enough perfume to kill a small mammal).

He's the mainland Chinese who chews with his mouth open (making those awful, sticky sounds). He also sneezes/coughs at you repeatedly.

They are also the people whose behaviours don't match their appearances (i.e. acting cute when they are ugly, trying to be sexy when they are revolting, talking with American accents when their basic grammatical skills are absent).

These are people who offend you by virtue of being themselves. Terrible.

3. The Condescending
This is the person who takes the high horse, the mightier than thou attitude... The bitch (I'm not talking about anyone in particular, really!) who seems to have done everything before you have, eaten at all your favourite restaurants before yourself. read every bloody book that you're planning to read and... you know what I'm saying. And for some reason, your opinions don't seem to carry much weight with them. For that matter, they don't even seem to be listening - she hears the first half of your sentence and goes, "Yeah, I've done that before..." and proceeds to finish your sentence, tell you what your opinions/experiences are AND later tells you that you're sorely mistaken and that her ideas and experiences are, in fact, better.

She then goes "Aww... you poor thing. Too bad you're not as intelligent as me. I should have told you."

But you didn't, so shut up and DIE!!!

Oh yeah, and these people often place a huge importance on intelligence and often compare themselves to others (who for some reason, are always more stupid than they are). Wankers.

2. The parrot
These are the people who have no opinion of their own. Rather, they often share opinions with someone who just said something 5 seconds prior. The same applies to their general knowledge. In any mildly interesting discussion, their sentences always seem to begin with "Oh yeah!", followed by an echo of what someone else just said.

In meetings, discussions and general chitchat, the parrots are supremely annoying because they add nothing to the conversation yet prolong it unnecessarily. And worse, sometimes they mis-quote facts and come out looking incredibly ignorant.

And the moment you ask these people something, they shut up - unable to say anything. Unable to come up with an original opinion simply because they have none. And if they do have an opinion about something, it's either something extremely obvious, trivial or borrowed from someone.

These people are soulless - they wander the Earth absorbing personalities from all who surround them. Which is quite funny when you realise that they take on the most obvious traits from everyone around them.

While these sort of humans are of no danger to mankind, they should be put to sleep for their own sakes.

1. The shameless
These are probably the worst sort of humans - they know that they're being unreasonable, two-faced, inconsiderate, disgusting and so on - yet, they persist!

This is the sort of person who will give thirteen million excuses why she hasn't got time to do something, and later goes for a 2-hour lunch. Or spends the next hour playing computer games - all this after asking for an extension.

The sort of person who says that she has to leave work early (with unfinished business) because of an early appointment the next day - only that she's really gone off to party and her appointment is at 10am (Wow... THAT's early).

This is also the sort of person who kisses ass.

This is the person who is paid more than some of her colleagues, yet does less than half the amount of work AND COMPLAINS THAT THERE'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!

This is the guy who is conveniently struck by a hard-to-diagnose virus everytime there's a hint of pressure at work.

This is the guy who asks you for a favour, and then CRITICISES you for not meeting his expectations.

---------------

Admittedly, most of us slip into one of these categories when we are not at our best (I probably fit into at least two myself).

However, I've actually met at least two beings that seem to be in ALL FIVE categories on a fairly regular basis.

There. I've let it out...

-_-

The pig flew!

2007-03-21T14:00:00.000+08:00

Today, the guys at the office witnessed an incredible event. After coming up with a page 1 byline in The Star on Saturday (Mar 17, 2007), Steven Patrick bought us lunch!

No, really! In spite of all the pressure, he actually showed up for work today and followed us to Kanna Curry House in SS2. And he actually paid for the bill! With his own money!

Which means that he really isn't a cheap bastard! At all!!! Here, we've got photos to prove it:

Steven paying the cashier

Steven waiting for the change

Steven with the receipt

See? He actually paid for lunch!

Steven Patrick, we salute you. We now officially forgive you for all the times you finished the biscuits and chocolate on the cabinet and didn't throw away the empty packets. You're the man...

And thanks for lunch!

Trademark infringement

2007-03-19T15:09:00.000+08:00

Just got my Nikon D70 back from the service centre when I bumped into this car in traffic:

It's a learner driver. Slow, hogs up the left lane and often stalls at traffic lights during rush hour. This one's got a handicapped driver, though - hence the picture of a wheelchair next to the license plate and a little sign that says:

Hmm... I've seen those fonts somewhere before.

Eat your vegetables

2007-03-18T16:31:00.000+08:00

It's now the season of Lent, which according to the Catholic faith is a time of fasting - to freely abstain from stuff you'd normally like to do (there's a lot more reasoning behind this, apparently).

Some give up chocolate. Others stop drinking alcohol. Most Catholics would take Fridays as a day to abstain from meat - simply because it's yummy and shit.

I am catholic, and therefore, I shall abstain from meat on Fridays too. Because I believe in God and I am a very very good boy.

But it seems that I've not been fasting properly for the past 27 years of my life, as I've recently discovered.

The following conversation is an excerpt from an online chat session:
me: Are you done with work yet? I come pick you up.

Elaine: no need
finish your work
i have stuff i can do here still. ... housekeeping etc...

me: T_T

Elaine: dun worry

me: ok... i hurry

Elaine: dun worry
don stress
had big lunch ... am not hungry

me: ah...
you do realise we're supposed to be vegetarian today, right? :)

Elaine: erm
chicken is a vegetable
it is

me: Oh... really???
So my mum has been lying all this while!!!

Elaine: yes ... um ... yes, she has
because i would never eat anything but a vegetable-chicken on fridays during lent

me: yes...
Ah... so THAT'S how they grow chickens!!!
They plant the eggs IN THE GROUND!!!

Elaine: YES!
The chickens get cut off their stalks when they are big enough to ... erm ... make a tasty vegetable dish

-----------------------

Shortly after, the following mental image appeared in my head:

Click to enlarge

So there. Remember to eat your vegetables.

My England very terror worr...!

2007-03-02T10:02:00.000+08:00

Being the self-appointed English language guru that I am, I often take pride in correcting the grammar of my friends and family members - just to show off my ~~superiority~~ superior English.

I also taunt Chinese-educated PR/marketing people over the phone with a supposed English accent (It's true! Ah Bengs and La Las can't tell the difference).

It's quite simple, just speak like one of those Indian English teachers you had in primary school and omit all the aar's and lah's from your speech. (FYI, there's an incredibly detailed guide to Malaysian English in Wikipedia)

And what I've just realised is that, because the standard of English is quite poor in Malaysia, it is possible to impose incorrect grammar/vocabulary on people (Accidentally, of course).

Take the following conversation I had with Aloy, for example:

EDITORS NOTES: Some parts of this dialogue are fictional.

Aloy: My cousin/brother/etc (I can't remember - Chris) just bought a Nikon D70s.

Me: Oh, he must have got it for a swan song!

Aloy: A what?

Me: A swan song.

Aloy: Erm... what's that?

ME: WHAT? YOU MEAN YOU DUNNO WHAT A SWAN SONG IS???

Aloy: Erm... No. what is it?

(Cue dramatic musical score by Hans Zimmer)

ME: IT MEANS THAT HE GOT IT CHEAP! FOR A GOOD PRICE!

Aloy: Erm... Really? Is it a common saying?

ME: OF COURSE IT IS!!! Now... BOW BEFORE MY SUPERIOR COMMAND OF THE QUEEN'S LANGUAGE!!!

Aloy: But... we're not an English colony anymore, and...

ME: SILENCE!!!

(Fade out dramatic musical score by Hans Zimmer)

--------------

The big mistake I've made, of course, is that I used the wrong noun. It should have been just "a song", not "a swan song".

I checked my dictionary this morning - a "swan song" is a person's final public performance or professional activity before retirement. Erm... *Oops!*

Big white singing birds: cheap

So if any of you out there ever bump into me and find me correcting your English, just ignore me - I might be wrong... -_-

Singapore Zoo! (Round Three)

2007-02-27T02:06:00.000+08:00

I love Singapore Zoo. It's one of the few places I can visit several times and still look forward to each trip - mostly because of the fantastic photographic opportunities it presents.

Me with little sis no.2

Unlike most other zoos, the enclosures in Singapore Zoo are very photographer-friendly and allow you to get real close to the animals. Plus, it's got fantastic facilities and very helpful staff.

I like helpful staff.

I also like tigers, but I've shot a few hundred pictures of them already (see previous posts) so I'll spare you from more tiger pictures. So without further ado, I present to you the non-feline animals of Singapore Zoo

Cottontop Tamarin

Many thanks to Kit for telling me what this is (there weren't any signs at the zoo). The Cottontop Tamarin is a small (at most 20cm tall and less than 0.5kg) primate found in the jungles of South America. It's also got a rather cool haircut, which can be puffed up to make it appear bigger when threatened. It eats mostly insects, fruits, buds and small lizards.

Unfortunately, the Cottontop Tamarin is currently an endangered species, initially because they were exported for scientific experiments, though the primary cause now is deforestation (Kill the forest and kill its inhabitants).

Cotton-Eared Marmoset
Another small primate, the Cotton-Eared Marmoset is also found in South America. But unlike the Cottontop Tamarin, it seems to be doing fine, which is strange when you consider how it's the same size and shares the same habitat and diet.

The only difference is that the Cotton-Eared Marmoset is found in Brazil, which brought us wonderful stuff like coffee, Ronaldinho and Ayrton Senna. So yes, Brazil is a great country.

In contrast, the poor Cottontop Tamarind is found in Colombia, which brought us drug lords and Juan Pablo Montoya. Yes, it's doomed...

Giraffe
This is a Giraffe. It is tall (up to 18ft), does everything standing (even sleeping), has the same number of bones in its neck as a human (that's seven, if you're wondering) and has no voice. And, a single kick from a giraffe can kill a man. Yes, this is a giraffe. Yes it is.

Jackass Penguin
Whoever gave the Jackass Penguin its name obviously had a lot of fun. It's a medium-sized penguin (grows slightly over 2ft tall) found off the southern coast of Africa. They are currently a vulnerable species because of pollution, changes to their habitat and because their eggs taste damn good. Apparently. They normally live for up to 10 years, although some specimens have been known to live for up to 40 years in controlled environments (i.e. in an aquarium with optimum space, temperatures, diets and loads of stupid children making silly faces at them).

Common Green Iguana
It's an iguana! And it's bloody ugly. Well, not sure what else to say, really. I don't particularly like lizards - they give me the creeps...

Jaguar
Often confused with leopards (wait... these are jaguars, right?), jaguars are big cats with spots all over their bodies, though they sometimes have very dark fur instead. Found only in South America, jaguars are very similar to tigers in that they're solitary animals, live in dense jungles and actually like swimming (just try dipping your cat into a tub of water...). Their method of attack is damn cool, though - because they have much stronger jaws than most other animals, they are able to bite right through the skulls of its prey, stabbing their brains to death until they die.

Striped Ass
This is the backside of a zebra, normally found on its posterior (e.g. the opposite end to the one with eyes, a mouth, a pair of nostrils and long, goofy looking ears). It also isn't a very good place to stand for at least three very good reasons.

Cannibalism
Here, we see an orange-coloured bird eating another orange-coloured bird of the same species. Which is actually rather good for the bird on the left because its usual diet of fruits, seeds and insects is rubbish. Just be wary if one of these little buggers land on your shoulders - they could lop off your head in a single peck. Honest.

A tiger having lunch

2007-02-24T23:38:00.000+08:00

On my latest trip to Singapore Zoo last week, I managed to shoot the white tigers again ('shoot' as in 'click', not 'bang!'). This time, I caught them during feeding time, which is probably the best time since they're not just sitting around like housecats.

*yawn!*

At 2:45pm, some guy with a bucket came to chuck some fresh meat into the tigers' enclosure. This is a step-by-step guide on how to eat lunch (if you're a tiger):

Step 1: Wash your hands before eating. Just in case you recently stepped on shit or something.

Step 2: Patiently wait for the meat to come flying towards you and...

*CHOMP!*

*munch!* *munch!*

Erm... yes, that how a tiger eats.

I'll post some non-feline shots from the zoo soon. Yes.

Casa de Lim

2007-02-24T22:51:00.000+08:00

Nested within the cosy HDB flats of Toa Payoh, Singapore, is Casa de Lim - a 5-star home-stay accommodation for 1 with shared bath, toilet and widescreen TV in each room.

I had a chance to stay there during a recent trip to Singapore and highly recommend it to weary travellers making a trip to the island.

But more than just having fantastic facilities, what really sets Casa de Lim apart is its friendly staff, such as:

The friendly receptionist Thomas and his bar of Kit Kat.

1st class, 5-star, internationally reknown Chef Lim who cooks all the meals...

Maximus, the security guard...

...who also guards the back door. He'll also accompany you to the toilet if he has too.

My favourite member of staff is Cleopatra the head waitress...

...who also has a bad habit of sleeping on the guests beds. Mine too, hur hur! :P~~~

And then we have Shell, who is the, erm... not sure what her job description is, but she often uses the guests' luggage as scratching posts.

And finally, there's Caeser the concierge. He sits on the TV. Often.

And that's it for the visible occupants of Casa de Lim. There is another member of staff - Seraphine - but she is apparently afraid of humans and hides above the closet in the guest room. She makes scary, scratching sounds at night.

I think I'll stay here the next time I visit... -_-

NEWS FLASH! KL Tower attacked by giant mons pubis

2007-01-31T13:13:00.000+08:00

KUALA LUMPUR: At approximately 4:30pm yesterday, a giant mons pubis was seen descending from the sky and onto our beloved KL Tower.

CELESTIAL: The Giant Mons Pubis, as seen from Jalan Parlimen.

Not much is known about this strange phenomenon apart from the huge commotion it caused in downtown KL. Most residents didn't know what to make of it, though some were enraged by such a divine gesture.

"It's not right," says A. Isohunt, 51.

"While I do believe in freedom of expression, I think that this is rather tasteless. I had to cover my childrens' eyes all the way to the taxi stand when I walked out of the department store."

An atheist since the age of 5, Isohunt conceded that the giant mons pubis did however prove the existence of God.

"Who else could've done it?" he asked.

Whether or not the religious bodies in Malaysia would come to a similar conclusion, the fact is that the majority of Malaysians in the capital weren't offended by the giant mons pubis at all.

"Actually, I quite liked it," said Steven Patrick, 21.

"Since it's visit Malaysia Year 2007, we could use more attractions such as this."

Patrick claimed that he stood outside his office to gawk at the huge extra-terrestrial structure for more than an hour, claiming he had never seen a mons pubis before. He also pondered over the whole significance of the giant celestial being attacking an erect, rigid structure.

The event ended barely 3 minutes after the mons pubis was first sighted. Onlookers said that the wasn't any visible signs of destruction though various people were heard shouting "What, done already?"

When Photoshoppers have too much time...

2007-01-24T15:41:00.000+08:00

Amidst the Photoshopping work at, erm... work, I had a bit of time to do this:

Now laugh, damn you... LAUGH!

Jun Kit: the ultimate Mat Rocker

2007-01-22T10:17:00.000+08:00

Karaoke is cool!

I managed to catch one of Jun Kit's classic renditions of Fantasia Bulan Madu (A fantastic song performed by Malay rock band Search and written by M. Nasir) on video.

And thanks to the wonders of technology (i.e. YouTube), now you can see this performance in the comfort of your office cubicle.

It should be noted that Jun Kit sings this song better than 90% of the Malay population. In fact, we believe that Jun Kit is more Malay than Hanif (pictured in the background). We also believe that Hanif is gay, but that's a different story altogether.

All that's missing is the long hair and tight jeans...

Enjoy :)

Note: Make sure your speakers aren't at maximum volume! You'll go DEAF!!!

EXCLUSIVE: Apple iPhone review

2007-01-19T21:52:00.000+08:00

Yes... thanks to the many connections I have with the IT industry, I was able to get hold of an iPhone - the first in Malaysia!

Well, an origami version, actually... (Go to Gizmodo for more info) But since the real thing won't be out till June, this will have to do. And since it's to scale, I believe we can provide a rather accurate review of Apple's revolutionary new product.

First of all, we start with the packaging:

The iPhone comes on a single sheet of A4 paper, with convenient cutout lines. A pair of scissors are required. Whilst easy to assemble, I find it appalling that an Apple product would require any sort of self-assembly. Should've worked right out of the box...

After folding the iPhone together, I marvelled at its 3.5in static inkjet display. The much-hyped Multi-touch screen by Apple didn't seem to be as responsive as I'd hope. But on the bright side, the iPhone weighs just 7 grams, which is about 1/153 the weight of a 20GB iPod. Well done, Apple!

And unlike the iPod, the iPhone seems rather scratch resistant too.

As a phone, the iPhone rocks! The reception is fantastic, with a continuous full bar from Maxis no matter where I was - even in underground carparks, elevators and stuff. In spite of the excellent reception, I wasn't able to make any calls. In fact, the date and time seemed to be stuck too, which is a bit of a problem. However, I'm sure that Apple's engineers will sort these little gremlins out.

Below the iPhone, there's the usual iPod dock connector, though this one seems a bit bigger. While it seemed to fit with my old iPod USB cables, docked speakers and other stuff, it wasn't able to sync properly. Even after installing the latest version of iTunes, I still couldn't get it to work. Sheesh... Once again, I'm sure it'll all be sorted out.

Aha... if you thought it was just an iPod, a phone and a breakthrough Internet communications device, I'll have you know that the iPhone has a 2-megapixel camera too! While I'm sure the optics are of first-class quality, there seems to be a problem with the viewfinder, which always shows a clownfish no matter where I point the iPhone.

But at least it's a very sharp looking clownfish with good colours and automatic exposure - better than anything else I've seen in the market (like those Nokia N-series things). Excellent job, Apple. Best looking clownfish shots... EVER!

And of course, the iPhone also raises your sex appeal by about 362%. Don't worry about picking up girls in bars - let the girls come to you! With an iPhone, every girl between 18 and 30 years will want to have your children. Really.

Conclusion
Whilst I'm very impressed with the iPhone, I can't help but feel that Apple rushed this product out to get a head start in front of the competition. And then, there's the problem with it creasing whenever I put it into my pockets. But who cares... it's an iPhone. It's cool. Everybody wants one. Get one today :)

Pros: Light, excellent battery life, superb high-resolution screen, perfect reception.
Cons: None of the advertised functions work.

Quote of the day

2007-01-18T16:29:00.000+08:00

"Yes, papaya can cause impotence...

because you'll be too busy shitting."
- Ronald Byrne

Frost your gear!!!

2007-01-06T00:34:00.000+08:00

If you happen to be rich and slightly tasteless at the same time (seems pretty common these days), here's another great way to burn up your daddy's hard-earned ringgit.

Some company called MyFrost is offering a rather weird service - pay them dollops of cash, bring along your phone/iPod/notebook to meet with their consultants and they'll completely sheath it in pretty Swarovski crystals... Hundreds of them.

So yes, it'll probably cost you an arm and half a torso. If you like this sort of stuff, then good for you.

What's rather hilarious, though, is the company's website (http://www.myfrost.com.my/) - Or rather, its FAQ page, which is the most childish, attitude-filled FAQ I've ever read!

Examples include:

1. WATCH OUT COPYCATS!

Although we're not the first in the world to invent the crystallizing of gadgets, we are the first to enter the Malaysian market. We noticed that some of our "lesser known" competitors have been spotted biting our style and studding gadgets in a way similar to ours. Our policy regarding this is clear: We WILL NOT repair work done by other companies. We stand behind our work 100% but cannot be responsible for shoddy jobs done by others. Quality and innovation speaks for itself. Don't settle for imitations....choose My Frost.

Really? "Lesser known"...? I haven't even heard of MyFrost in the first place! And while its ok for them to copy a style from another country, it is apparently uncool for other people to do the same.

"Shoddy jobs" done by others? So does that imply that MyFrost's works are indestructible?

I think not... they tell you how they use some special bonding process to fix the crystals onto your gear, and later tell you to simply use superglue to fix the stuff back if they fall off. Observe:

6. DO THE CRYSTALS STAY ON?

Yes. We have a customized bonding process that insures maximum hold. Since they are applied one at a time, they each have their own bond.

And

7. WHAT HAPPENS IF THE CRYSTALS COME OFF?

We enclose a small pack of extra stones with each order in case one or two comes off. Just a drop of super glue and all is well.
For major emergencies, we do offer a repair service. Remember, they are lead crystal - drop it on the pavement, throw it in the heat of an argument - it isn't our fault. Just call for an estimate on your specific repair.

Classic... :)

Sheesh... I feel so bitchy now. Need to take a shower...

P.S: If you happen to be from MyFrost and are reading all this at the moment, I do apologise if you feel like tearing my head off. But you can't, so nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah :P

In any case, do grow up.

The Ultimate Guide to Chinese Weddings

2007-01-04T15:30:00.000+08:00

Welcome to The Occasional Mumble's ULTIMATE Guide to Chinese Wedding ceremonies. Unlike most other weddings, Chinese Weddings involve a lot of fun, games and lots of tea.

We start of by arriving at the bride's house:

Date:

Time:

Place:

Normally the groom has to arrive at the bride's house to collect her. And normally, the groom will be armed with a group of heng tai - tall, muscular, well-hung men (mostly the groom's friends and male cousins).

The heng tai are supposed to provide support to the groom and aid him in the trials that await him at the grooms house. Good heng tais will offer to draw fire away from the groom. Smarter heng tai often stand at the back and laugh at the groom.

Once at the bride's front door, the bride's chee mui (the female equivalent of the magnificent heng tai) will demand for money - a toll - before the groom and his excellent heng tai are allowed inside.

Jun Kit:"Open the door... please!"

At this juncture, the chee mui and heng tai will engage in vigorous negotiations, normally with the chee mui asking for more money and the heng tai haggling to give less than half the asking price.

Aloy: "Eh, you think 50 ringgit enough, arr...?"
Once the chee mui are satisfied with the payment, the groom and heng tai are granted passage into the bride’s house. However, they are not allowed to meet the bride yet.

Instead, the groom and heng tai have to undergo a series of trials set by the the chee mui. These trials are often derogatory and painful in nature:

Such as eating Cili Padi

And sucking milk from a teat.

Sometimes, one of the heng tai will join in the suckling...

...While others completely relieve the groom of potential suffering (this heng tai has offered to eat Wasabi on behalf of the groom).

But as we've mentioned before, the more intelligent heng tai will sit at the back of the room to avoid embarrassment.

Once the groom and his courageous heng tai have passed all the trials, they are allowed to see the bride.

CHAAAAAARGE!!!

Jun Kit: "Hallo darling... *muaks*"

Mei Hoon: "Eh... why you smell so funny one?"

After the dust has settled, the bride and groom serve tea to the brides parents and relatives. This is also known as the cham char or tea ceremony. This is largely considered to be the highlight of the wedding ceremony, welcoming the groom into the bride's family.

Jun Kit: "Aunty, drink... MOM!!! Mother! Yes, mother! Drink this."

Once that's over, the bride is bundled into the wedding car and brought to the groom's house to meet her new in-laws.

Mei Hoon: "If you show anyone this photo, I'll kill you...! Byeeeee!!!"

VROOOOOOOM....!!!

Once the couple arrives at the groom's house, there is a second tea ceremony - this time to welcome the bride into the groom's family.

Mei Hoon: "Drinklah, uncle... DAD!!! I mean 'dad', haha..."

Group photo's are cool!

And with that ends the morning session. This is followed by a wedding dinner reception in the evening. It normally starts with a cocktail party where the guests mingle with each other and have light, friendly conversation among friends.

There will be very smartly dressed men...

...and some lovely ladies (Eh, what's Jacky doing here? - Aloy)

A friendly gesture at a photographer

Some guests will spend their time sampling the various snacks...

Eventually, the guests are seated for the couple's grand entrance, which marks the beginning of the dinner.

Jun Kit: "Wah, this is very grand horr?"
Mei Hoon: "Yes, it is."

Jun Kit: "Weddings are cool! I give it two thumbs up!"

Throughout the course of the dinner, there will be crass speeches from the groom's father, cake cutting, a Powerpoint presentation, champagne fountains and the usual toasting ceremony.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

The next highlight would be the table-to-table drinking sessions, where the groom goes from table to table, having drinks with various guests. This is considered one of the highlights of the evening.

Jun Kit: "Eh, I thought water beats stone? I drink again, arr?"

And that's how a Chinese wedding is held. A big pat on the back for Jun Kit for bagging himself a fantastic wife and a big thumbs up to Mei Hoon for stumbling across our big, friendly giant. Congrats and all the best, you two! :)

I wonder who's getting married next, then...

Suraya: "Eh! Stop it lah, bang..."
Hanif: " ! "

Weddings are cool :)

The Tip of Borneo...

2007-01-03T16:59:00.000+08:00

This is the Tip of Borneo, located at the Northernmost tip of Sabah. Apparently, the local government didn't know about this place until fairly recently.

And when they realised the enormous potential financial gains from an remote, untouched, tourist spot, they decided to build some sort of monument and to erect a flag to remind people that this is, in fact, Malaysia.

And this ball-shaped thing here is the Nip of Borneo...

The thing is, the local government forgot to include shops, malls, hotels and other stuff to reap the benefits of such a tourist spot, which is GOOD!!! I hate it when you go to some nice holiday destination and end up being bugged to death by people selling glass paperweights with little crabs stuck inside them.

And here are a couple of tourists from the mainland, still charmed by the quaintness of it all.

And this here is the tip itself! Head north from here, and you'll end up in Taiwan or something...

And to spice things up a bit, there are a small collection of funky rock formations by the shoreline.

One thing nice about TTOB (The Tip of Borneo), is the really nice, empty beach next to it. So far, nobody's thought of corrupting the area with some tasteless beach resort. The water's really clean too - can use to brush your teeth!!!

Wanton acts of violence...
Adrian: "Kick!"

Michelle: "Aaargh!"

Yes, this is the Tip of Borneo. Visit it now. It's a 3-hour drive from Kota Kinabalu but I'm sure that any Sabahan with a 4x4 (i.e. all of them) would know how to get there - and would happily drive you there too!

Sabahans are nice.

Maureen got married!!!

2006-12-14T11:34:00.000+08:00

Ah, yes... this happened quite a while ago (Nov 4) so this is an ultra-delayed update.

But when you think about it, the wedding itself had been delayed for like 13 million years (Yes, Peter proposed to Maureen in 1987. Or something like that. Honest).

"Noooo...! Really???"

Yup, Maureen was the first one in our group to get engaged and it's quite amazing that they managed to tahan for so long.

In any case, it was one of the coolest weddings I've attended. Ever. First of all, there was the venue:

Oooh, that's lovely.

The wedding was held by the artificial lake at Mines Resort and Spa, which was cool. It rained right before the dinner but that didn't dampen the occassion one bit.

Elaine and I were the official photographers

The food was on a buffet spread and the whole atmosphere was really nice. Very casual and with very few old aunties and uncles.

The lovely wedded couple during the ritual champagne tower pouring thingy.

Of course, what wedding would be complete without some red-eyed drunkard giving a toast:

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa..."

There were the usual PowerPoint slide presentations (How the bride/groom grew up, met each other, etc) and some touching speeches, exchanging of gifts between in-laws and so on. Textbook stuff, really. But it was really fun.

And after that, there were some pop quizzes with prizes and stuff:

"The capital of Denmark is AMSTERDAM!!! REALLY!!!"

The losing table had to undergo some form of punishment, of course...

Hanif getting his yearly quota of exercise...

After all of the official stuff was over, it was time to dance! There was a fair bit of booze going around as well, which was good.

"You wait... When you get married that time then I will make fun of you in my blog!"

Mei Hoon and Jun Kit doing some weird chicken dance

Jun Kit and Hanif getting real excited over something (Note: Photo had to be enhanced to show details in the dark)

Eventually, the party wound down and everyone got rather tipsy (or at least pretended to be. Or said that they were driving that night.)

The gang with our respective partners (Yes, Hanif has one foot out of the closet)

I like weddings. My bro just got married last weekend too and I haven't written about it yet. Not even written about Palany's wedding in Penang either. And later this month, we've got Jun Kit and MK getting married as well.

So many weddings...

If a picture paints a thousand words...

2006-12-14T11:24:00.000+08:00

Then the following picture needs no caption:

(Note: Yes, that's Sylvane and Hanif during Palany's wedding dinner in Penang.)

On another note, I apologise for the lack of updates. So many things have happened in the past month that I absolutely had no time to blog. Or rather, I was so tired out / sick / outstation at the time that the last thing on my mind was to compile all my photos and think of something witty to say.

Normal services should resume from henceforth.

Random attempts at art...

2006-11-03T16:51:00.000+08:00

Those of you who've known me for a bit longer than 10 years may recall that I used to draw a lot in my free time (and during classes - and on my textbooks). But alas, my artistic talents are fairly limited (more cartoony than realistic) and thus my dreams of becoming a professional cartoonist evaporated soon before my schooling days were over.

But I enjoy drawing comics, it's a really great way to express oneself and it also happens to be a lot of fun. So here it is - my first comic strip in over 10 years:

(Click on image to enlarge)

Note: Yes, I realise that cows aren't male... -_-

What is Hokkien Mee?

2006-10-26T12:26:00.000+08:00

Forged in the fires of hell...

...but tastes like heaven.

And enjoyed by Singaporeans crossing the border (and also one particular Malaysian living there who misses the food here, which is much much MUCH better by the way)

Yum... ^_^

Home RUN!!!

2006-10-23T11:58:00.000+08:00

A day after Deepavali, we decided to celebrate the Indian festival of lights by batting the shit out of some balls at the new Baseball thingy in 1 Utama.

It's a bit hard to find - you need to go to the elevators near Parkson (1 Utama new wing) and get to the upper roof, where you'll see something like a miniature driving range.

Elaine: "Mmmm... Big stick... I like!"

A few packages are available - we chose the "Home run" package for RM45, which gives you an unlimited number of balls to hit for 30 minutes. And with that, we headed for the batting cages.

This is the panel that controls the ball-launcher thingy. Select between 40MPH to 70MPH balls, press "baseball", wait for red light to come on and watch in horror as a yellow ball comes flying towards you.

Being the one who studied in America and is most in-tune with popular all-American sports, Alex shows us how it's done.

Well, erm... sort of

At first, we found it incredibly difficult to hit the balls but after a few tries, it gets easier. It's also real important that you set the height of the ball (via the control panel), otherwise you'd end up missing a whole lot of balls. Like this, actually:

Aloy steps up to the plate

Ack! Too low...

The other thing we learnt that day is that baseball can be a very painful sport. The massive shock/vibrations sent up through the bat and into your arms is enough to make it hurt. Kinda like tennis elbow, only whilst not playing tennis.

But it's not like we sucked (*really!*), after some time, all of us started to get the hang of it:

Elaine steps up to the plate

The evil yellow ball launches towards her...

CRACK!

Strangely enough, I found myself more comfortable batting left-handed. Probably because I'm more used to backhand motions (i.e. slapping people with the back of my right hand).

Kinda like a wife beater, actually ("Hic, where's my beer??? I take out my belt then you know!!!")

Hmmm... I need a haircut

Lousy hair style or not, it didn't stop me from getting the job done:

CRACK!

Needless to say, it was a blast. I think I'll be spending lots of lunch hours here in the future...

TWO THUMBS UP!!! ^_^

Basketball!!!

2006-10-20T17:00:00.000+08:00

Been meaning to put this up for a week, but kept procrastinating. It's BASKETBALL AT SPORTSBARN.

This is Dennis beginning a drive to the basket. This is normally very bad news for the opposition.

For the past couple of months or so, we've been playing basketball about twice a week. A pretty nice group, this - competitive, yet sporting enough to have fun.

On this particular occasion, I couldn't make it (sis' birthday) but could catch the tail end of it. Decided to pack my camera along.

Charles swatting one away

It's bloody hard to shoot inside with Charles in the middle -- one minute you're open, and then this really long arm descends from the heavens and gently whacks the ball out of your hands.

Say Hong getting personal with Dennis -_-

The thing about playing basketball is that - unless you've got a film crew following you around, chances are you have no idea what you look like while you're playing (i.e. whether you look cool or awkward).

Andrew launching one of his wonder shots. As in, "I wonder why the hell it goes in all the time...?"

I guess the best part about all this is that it's also good for your health. Exercise is good. Yes it is. Yes. Right.

Nigel showboating

I took this shot with a slow shutter speed and tracked the camera on Nigel - this allows me to keep Nigel relatively sharp while blurring out the background. And yes, this looks better on film than it does in real life. (P.S: Don't burn my house down. Please.)

This is Charles. Say hi to Charles.

After the game, we're all hot and sweaty from all that action. Erm... yeah. And thirsty too.

Andrew with a very gay Nigel snuggling up to him...

Right. Next picture:

And the best part of bball, the mamak sessions after... :)

Thus ends the photo essay. I'm sleepy and hungry. And you should be too.

The terror continues...

2006-10-09T18:57:00.000+08:00

Not much of an update, but:

Hur hur hur... :)

Beef is back!

2006-09-28T16:16:00.001+08:00

Excellent news, this.

You may not have known this but - for some years, now - Bovril has been beef-free.

Yes, that fantasticly sticky and tasty beef extract was reformulated some time in 2004 to cater to the growing needs of people who, for some reason or other, didn't want beef in their Bovril.

For the past two years, Bovril has been a yeast-extract; just like that other foul tasting savoury paste (that would be Marmite). So yes, the glorious Bovril was reduced to a shadow of its former self. A poor man's Marmite. A beef-flavoured food product for vegeterians.

But personally, I thought it tasted the same - never knew the beef was taken away until someone pointed it out.

Similarly, I didn't know that the Bovril guys are putting back beef into the black stuff until Kit pointed it out. And he had pointed this out simply because I've become addicted to Bovril this past couple of weeks, which - I believe - spurred him to do a bit of research.

Bovril: as good as gold

Did you know that Bovril was devised as a weapon by the French to fight the Germans during some war in the 19th century? Neither did I.

So I guess the point I'm trying to say is, umm... it's good to have beef back in Bovril.

Yes, it is.

Pool: two thumbs up!

2006-09-18T18:00:00.000+08:00

It's official - pool is the coolest sport in the world. After all, it's the only game that allows you to mimic a sniper hunting down some hapless balls on a velvet table. It transforms even the most awkward, clumsy, fat bastard into a real man.

Me shooting some pool. Very cool, no?

You see? Just by holding a cue up to your chin, you too can instantly transform into a suave something or other.

This is Aloy. He thinks he is cool. Yes, he does.

Of course, it's even better if you're dressed like a waiter - it makes you look even more professional. And a lot cooler too. Observe:

This is Hanif. Yes, he's cool too. Really.

And it's even more more better if you try some trick shots. Doesn't matter if it works or not - as long as you look cool, you will be cool. For example:

This is an attempted screw ball. It is cool.

But it is not enough that it's cool. We must show appreciation for this. And because of this, I give pool two thumbs up (my highest award, given to fine examples of being cool).

Aloy bending over at table. This is cool. Hence, we give it two thumbs up.

Two thumbs up for Hanif too, because he is very cool.

Aloy racking some balls. This is cool. So we give two thumbs up.

The best part is, the coolness you obtain from playing pool carries on to the rest of your life. You become coolness itself.

Falling asleep later at the mamak. But it's also cool, so we give it two thumbs up also.

On the right, we have the photographer who naively thought that she managed to escape the whole night without having her picture taken.

TWO THUMBS UP!!!

Ok, that's enough cheese for now. Back to work!!!

Awesome Thai beer ads

2006-09-01T22:07:00.000+08:00

Got wind of this ad from Elaine (thanks!) Had me in stitches for quite a while.

Sliding tofu sellers...

2006-08-27T10:26:00.000+08:00

In an rather refreshing turn of events, I ended up at a race track last night, watching some people whose cars seemed to be facing the wrong direction whenever they entered a corner:

"Look! It's that guy from Initial D!!!"

The starting grid. It's a grid. Cars start on it. Yes, they do.

Yup, it was a drifting event. Organised by Angle D5, it's a Saturday night event held at the PLUS speedway near the USJ toll plaza. We discovered it by accident, though - it was near Warren's house and we can hear the noise at the track from there. So, we decided to have a look.

That's me

Some old Toyota hatchback with a helluva good drifter behind the wheel...

What struck me about the event was the variety in the types of cars used - there were both brand new cars as well as crummy old 1970s Japanese sedans (and most of the better drifters seem to prefer the latter). The audience was pretty diverse too, with Malays, Chinese and Indians freely mixing together, both youngsters and even entire families with baby prams and stuff...

A Skyline R33 - presumably, the owner is affluent enough to risk pranging it.

"Oi! Why got traffic jam???"

An old-ish Skyline R32. Looks completely shagged

We spent about 2 hours looking at these cars go round and round the track, laying about a few tonnes of rubber into it. It seemed fairly well-organised too - with bilingual deejays, track marshalls, ambulances on standby and pretty girls with ultra-tight tops prancing around the main entrance.

Of course, after you pay the RM5 entrance fee, you'll walk in only to find that there aren't anymore big-breasted women inside (apart from some visitors, of course). Darn.

A Nissan Skyline R32 and a Nissan 180SX - crummy old cars, but excellent for drifting!

A participant from Singapore. Can't wait to see his tow-truck bill...

And there you have it. Apparently, they've got another event on Merdeka eve, which - coincidentally - is exactly a year since I've started blogging. I think I'll be there... ^_^

Silly Microsoft Word... :)

2006-08-16T16:07:00.000+08:00

One of my cranky old lecturers in university once ranted about how Microsoft is trying to change the way we speak English, by enforcing its grammatical rules on our documents through spell-checkers, autocorrect tools and other functions spawned by Satan himself.

Now, I think I believe him - Microsoft doesn't seem to know proper English either. Please click on the following screenshots for a closer look:

In this screenshot, it tells me that the word "bulletproof" is wrong (underlined in red). Rather, it should be written as "bullet-proof". Fine, I make the changes suggested by the all-knowing word processor.

But then, I get this:

Now it tells me that the word "bullet-proof" is grammatically wrong (underlined in green), and I should write it as "bulletproof" instead.

Classic.

Belum Temenggor National Park

2006-08-10T20:00:00.000+08:00

Holy Cow...

Didn't realise how busy I've been - haven't updated this blog for over half a month! And to make matters worse, I've not even finished uploading all my Japan trip photos and I've already gone on another two.

This is the first one.

It was a trip organised by Sony Malaysia, Click! magazine, the Malaysia Nature Society and the education ministry. I won't go into details, but let's just say it's a rare opportunity.

Temengggor Lake

Temenggor Lake is an artificial lake created after the Temenggor dam was erected in the late 1970's, flooding the area with water from various rivers in Perak. This resulted in a huge lake that's over 100km square, over a hundred tiny 'new' islands, the destruction of countless flora (such as the raffelsia) and the displacement of people and animals.

An ex-tree poking out of the water.

The good news, though, is that the whole area is now a protected forest reserve. Which is good because there are a countless number of animal and plant species - some of which are native only to Temenggor forest. Such as one particular species of Malayan tiger, of which the exact name has eluded me.

There are an estimated 600 tigers left in peninsular Malaysia, compared to over 3,000 in the 1950s. With conservation efforts in place, it is hoped that the Malayan Tiger population will grow.

Me and Calvin Goh directly above the former Kampung Temenggor. (Pic courtesy of Mr. Allan from Click!)

The local guides claim that you can take a dive into the lake and see the old buildings - mosques, houses and schools - of Temenggor village, one of the villages and settlements that were flooded by the lake.

Of particular interest are the Orang Asli (natives) in the area, who had to adapt to island life all of the sudden.

Me at a Temiang Orang Asli settlement

The Orang Asli here are of the Temiang race. I don't know much about them, other than the fact that they didn't seem very pleased to see us - mostly because we forgot to bring gifts.

It's not that they're materialistic or anything - rather, it's a custom to bring gifts when visiting someone. So yes, we were being rather rude, which prompted some people in the group to sacrifice boxes of cigarettes, sweets and some money.

Middle-aged orang asli woman

The Orang Asli have really beautiful facial features, even with age.

Tough-looking hunter taking a break from polishing his blowpipe. Ok... that sounds wrong

If this dude looks strong, it's because he is. He claims to habitually hunt all manner of wildlife for food and he can hit a target over 240 feet away with his blowpipe. So no, he's not the sort of person you'd want to piss off. Ever.

The wall of an orang asli house. It's made of something.

View of the islands from the lake. That's haze, by the way...

The trip to the settlement was part of a tour of the lake, which offered a fantastic view. Malaysia is truly one of the most beautiful countries in the world - it's a shame most of us don't bother looking.

Pulau Pendidikan - a fairly long drop if you miss a step. The living quarters are at the top of this cliff.

We stayed at one of the many islands - Pulau Pendidikan. It's basically a facility made by the government to conduct talks and to educate the public on wildlife conservation. Nothing much to shout about, although the cook is fantastic - he makes some of the best grilled fish and mutton I've ever tasted!

Sunset at the jetty

The view here is fantastic, although the sunset on the day before was even better - looking just like the rising sun of Japan. Problem is, I missed it - walked down to the jetty without my camera. It would've taken 5 minutes to hike up the hill again, retrieve my camera and get back down, and the sunset would've been over by then. At least I saw it with my own eyes, which is the whole point, really... :)

Jungle ants/termites carrying bits of wood/stones to some other location. No, I haven't got a clue what they're doing.

While Temenggor is literally packed with all manner of exotic wildlife, Pulau Pendidikan itself is relatively fauna free. It's a small island, so there's no way an elephant or tiger would survive, although there are flying foxes, gibbons and ants.

Dead photographers: buoyant

Generally, I had a great time - thanks to the fantastic company of the Click! guys. It's always nice to spend some time with like-minded people who share a common hobby.

For more information about Belum Temenggor:

Belum Tours

This is Japan... again (Part 2)

2006-07-30T21:59:00.000+08:00

Woke up really early one morning to go to Tsukiji fish market. Now, this was a rather big thing for me because I've been thwarted on the past couple of attempts to get there. The first time, it was raining. And on the second time, it was ALSO raining AND I didn't have enough sleep.

Anyway, I finally made it!

Tsukiji fish market, from the outside.

If you're wondering what all the excitement's about, Tsukiji fish market is one of the biggest in the world, with deep-sea trawlers coming in as early as 3am. By 5am, it's jam packed with housewifes and restaurant owners bidding on fresh tuna and other seafood.

Unfortunately, I only got there about 6:30am. By then, it was a lot calmer.

A little quiet...

The sheer variety and amount of seafood here is fantastic. But the stars of the show are the huge frozen tuna, unloaded fresh from the trawlers. I always knew that tuna were big, but I never expected them to be dolphin sized.

HUGE!

Of course, the REAL reason why I was at Tsukiji was because it had the freshest sushi in the whole of Tokyo. And it was about time for breakfast. My travel book recommended this place called Sushi Dai.

That's it - the one with the green sign and a queue of people

I had to wait about 20 minutes to get in. It's a really small restaurant - only enough room for about 12 people or so. However, it was definitely worth the wait :)

Tiny...

They've got a relatively small menu. I chose the "middle sized" set, which was awesome.

The dude who made my breakfast!

I'm lost for words in describing how fantastic the sushi was. It was SOOOO fresh, I could probably eat a bucket of it and not be sick. The way the fresh tuna and other strange looking squirmy things tantalise your tastebuds is priceless.

Well, actuall it costs 3000yen (approx. RM90), but it's worth every bloody yen. Mmmm...

Maybe I'll post some more sushi pics later... ^_^

This is Japan... again

2006-07-23T23:53:00.000+08:00

Been back for about a week now but have been too busy at work to write anything.

Basically, Tokyo was a blast. Not that a great deal happened but it was nice being able to wander around and do whatever I wanted without worrying too much about time.

I stayed at this wonderful ryokan (traditional Japanese inn) called Ryokan Shigetsu, located at the quaint district of Asakusa in Tokyo. The rooms cost only about 250 Ringgit a night (single room) with an attached bath, nice tatami mat floors and a fluffy futon to sleep on. I forgot to take pictures of the outside but this is what my room looked like:

The ryokan even has a public bath with a nice view of the nearby pagoda (see the website!!!). Unfortunately, the water was WAAAAAY too hot - just five seconds in it and I was starting to doubt my ability to procreate after.

Considering that it was the middle of summer (temperatures reaching 32 degrees Celsius, with high humidity), it was a little pointless to have a boiling hot bath anyway.

There are actually two public bathrooms - a bigger one with huge windows that give you a view of the city (the baths are on the 6th floor) and a small one with only a small slit near the ceiling.

But what's rather dodgy is that people in the neighbouring tall buildings can actually look right into the larger bathroom at night.

Which is why the Ryokan swaps the male and female baths, so that the girls get the bigger bath in the morning (with a nice view) while they get the smaller, more private one at night.

The problem, of course, was that when I walked into the big bathroom one morning (which had been a 'male' one the night before), I hadn't realised that they swapped the male/female signs at the doors (wasn't wearing my glasses). Thank God no women decided to have early morning baths that morning... -_-" (free show!)

I highly recommend this Ryokan, especially for the whole Japaneseness of it. It's also really convenient, being only a 3 minute walk from the Asakusa Tokyo Metro station.

They also serve darn good breakfast in the morning, although you have to order it the night before (it's about 30 Ringgit). The other problem is that all the rooms are cleaned between 10am and 3pm, which means that you have to vacate your room.

The ryokan is located right next to the Asakusa Kannon Temple and the shopping district.

This is the famous giant lantern at the entrance to the shopping district. It's normally crowded but I took this shot at 5:30am.

The shopping district itself is full of stores selling souvenirs, food and traditional Japanese stuff like fans, kimonos, tea sets, swords, etc. It also stretches across into the neighbourhood, with a huge collection of restaurants and other souvenir shops. Oddly enough, I ended up eating at McDonalds here pretty often (it's cheaper than most restaurants here).

Asakusa is perhaps the closest link to olden Tokyo, with old aunties (and the occasional young woman) trotting around in their latest summer kimonos.

Compared to the rest of Tokyo, Asakusa is a relatively nice, quiet place. Almost like a small town. This photo's actually been altered - the sky is untouched, but i increased the brightness of the foreground for a better look.

During my stay, I had to pay a visit to the neighbourhood coin laundry (the Ryokan didn't offer such a service). Summer was so hot that I had gone through all of my shirts halfway through the trip (I sweat. A lot). Had the opportunity to mingle with some old uncles and aunties, which was great fun. Really.

In fact, the only problem with Asakusa is that everything closes so darn early. By 7pm, half of the stores in the shopping district have closed. By 9pm, it's a ghost town.

Nice place to stay, though. I'll be back with more pics and updates!

Bushy-tailed kitty...

2006-07-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

There's this stray cat (I think) wondering around my neighbourhood lately.

It looks absolutely adorable, thanks to its really thick, bushy tail (unlike the rest of its body) and these really bored-looking yellow eyes.

Took the opportunity to get to know the furry fella better:

Awww... -_-

日本へ

2006-07-08T03:42:00.000+08:00

After various form of drama throughout the week, it seems that I'm actually off to Japan this coming Monday. I've got my air tickets and visa here on my desk, which means that - unless my streak of misfortune continues - I'm off.

Haven't taken a holiday in a long time. Sure, the first couple of days is a working trip but the rest of it will be time for me to be alone. To do whatever I want. In Tokyo.

Tokyo Tower - taken during my previous trip

Sorry if this sounds all emotional or even boring, but I'm really looking forward to this trip, even though I probably won't get much done and won't get to see a lot of things I'm hoping I'll get to see. Chances are, something will happen right in the middle of it all to ruin one of my many plans (I hear it's been raining a bit).

I've been meaning to visit the famous fish market there at 5am in the morning to snap some photos and eat fresh sashimi for breakfast (haven't had the chance). So far, it's rained every blasted morning I've tried to go.

But yet, I don't care if I end up being thwarted by rain again. Whenever I'm in Japan, I just feel good. Even if it turns out to be a complete disaster, I've got this baseless confidence that I'm going to enjoy myself.

Tokyo is one of those cities where I've always felt rather comfortable in for some funny reason. Familiar, even. Maybe it's because of my many years of anime/manga fandom/geekdom. At least I've stopped fantasising about having a Japanese girlfriend.

...

Erm, maybe I haven't :P

The other thing is that Japan is the only non-primarily-English-speaking foreign country I know of where I'm actually able to speak the language somewhat (I'm completely hopeless with Cantonese, which is why I dread going to Hong Kong). Other than Indonesia, of course.

But what I'm quite surprised about is the fact that I'm actually looking forward to this trip!

This is a big deal because - in all honesty - I've not really looked forward to any sort of holiday since I was 9-years-old and realised that every trip to Singapore guaranteed a new Autobot or Decepticon. And mind you, I've been on plenty of trips since then.

And the best part is - I have no idea why I'm so looking forward to it!!! Maybe it's because I'll be travelling alone with nobody to wait for or to keep waiting. Maybe it's because I'm itching for some sort of urban adventure. Maybe this time, I'll get off the correct exit at Shunjuku station (the incorrect one being the West exit).

It's 4am... time to sleep.

BTW, this is also my 100th post, which is a milestone of sorts, I suppose. And this blog itself is a month or two shy of its first birthday. I still remember signing up with Blogger, not knowing what to write on this blank virtual soapbox. Now, I've got enough rubbish written to be compiled into a coffee table book.

Thanks for reading.

Fairly useless trivia - Part 1

2006-07-04T16:30:00.000+08:00

And now for this week's completely useless bit of trivia.

Some of you may be aware of the existence of two distinct marine clownfish: The Ocellaris Clownfish and Percula Clownfish (also known as a false anemonefish / false clownfish).

Both species are very closely related and have very similar patterns and colours although an experience marine biologits could probably tell the two apart at a glance.

What I didn't know (and I bet you don't either) is that the 'easiest' way to tell them apart is to count the number of spines on their dorsal fins - Ocellarises have 11 while Perculas have just 10.

...

-_-

Well, now you know.

It'll be difficult keeping the little buggers completely still while you count, though.

Shitty car...

2006-06-21T13:56:00.000+08:00

Managed to snap this BMW 3-series while driving in KL (I've cropped it from a much wider shot):

The license plate reads 'TAH11'.

That's kinda like Malay for 'shit'. And I guess that's kinda cool... No?

Weird dreams at night...

2006-06-21T13:37:00.000+08:00

I've been having some very strange recurring dreams lately. Not that it's a problem, but it's kinda weird that it happens so frequently. Maybe one day I'll speak to a dream interpreter or fung shui expert. Maybe Lillian Too... And when she's not looking, I'll set her hair on fire. Hmmm...

Anyway, the dreams are:
1. All my teeth becoming loose / falling off.
2. One of my legs being much shorter than the other.
3. Being able to fly by simply lifting my feet off the ground.
4. Seeing my dead relatives alive and well.
5. Finding that I've not studied for an exam, only to realise that I'm not in school anymore - and finding it darn cool that I've realised it in the middle of a dream.
6. Having a real big urge to take an in-dream piss, unleashing a torrent of yellow rain in my dreams, only to wake up with a full bladder thinking, "My GOD!!! Luckily I didn't release in real life!!!"
7. Attempting to play some sport (usually basketball) only to find that I suddenly can't play.
8. Finding myself in a HUGE bathroom (more floor space than a football pitch), with many bath tubs, showers, places to crap and so on, usually with a ceiling that's over 30 feet high that gives the whole place a very nice airy atmosphere. Yes, I like to take baths.

And there you have it. If you can tell me what 4D numbers to buy from this information, please contact me. Thanks.

Annoy your neighbour's dogs. And children too...

2006-06-14T17:15:00.000+08:00

At this very moment in time, I've got a really wayang headache from listening to some ultra high-pitched sine wave audio samples. Thanks to this guy, of course.

Apparently, a female student in some other country heard about how some adults (read: old farts) can't hear audio frequencies at 16KHz and above. This student then decided to use a 16KHz sine wave audio sample as a ring tone, which is brilliant since she'd be able to hear her phone ring during lectures while her teachers won't.

Sure enough, Kit tried playing this 16KHz ring tone in front of all of us and most of the 'more experienced' people in the office couldn't hear it - even though it irritated the shit out of us younger people.

The human ear is supposedly able to hear frequencies between 20Hz (ultra low-pitch bass) and 20KHz (ultra high-pitch treble). This is also why audio CDs have a sampling rate of 44.1KHz, which results in a maximum attainable frequency of about 22KHz - just a bit higher than what humans can hear.

And so, we tried listening to various audio samples at the office to check our individual cut-off points at this website.

Apparently, I'm able to hear stuff up to 18KHz. The other guys in the office could only hear up to 17KHz. So I guess that means I win... *yay!*

Try it out and tell me your frequency cut-off points! Do it now!!!

****

As a side note, you could burn an 18KHz or 19KHz audio sample onto a CD, drive up to a kindergarten and play it at full blast on your car stereo with the windows down. Imagine the extremely baffled look on the teachers' faces as their students go completely bonkers. *Insert evil laughter!!!*